17 Horror Movies Ranked From “I'd Make It To The End” To “I'd Be Killed In The Opening Minutes”

    Too many horror plots could've been avoided if people would've just not done a dumb thing.

    Christopher Hudspeth
    by Christopher Hudspeth

    BuzzFeed Staff

    As anyone who watches horror movies knows, part of the thrill is being frightened, but what also gets the heart rate up? Being annoyed at the characters for their atrocious decision-making. It can be infuriating to watch fools find ways to get killed in survivable scenarios. So, today I'm going to lay out some of the most popular horror films, ranked from how easy they'd be to live through to how challenging they'd be to withstand.

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    WARNING: Spoilers below.

    17. Candyman (2021). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%

    The silhouette of a man with a hook for a hand and hollowed out eyes and ribs
    Universal Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A group of girls are gathered in front of the bathroom mirror, one leaves and says, "not today." Minutes later, in the reflection of a mirror we can see one of the girls on the ground, covered in blood
    Universal Pictures

    This is an obvious one, but instead of saying C*ndyman in the mirror five times, I'd say it zero times. Voila, crisis averted. Shoutout to the girl in this movie who wisely, realistically left the bathroom when a group of teens decided to summon him and get slaughtered shortly thereafter.

    16. The Ring (2001). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%

    DreamWorks Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A woman watches a TV screen with a giant ring on it
    DreamWorks Pictures

    Once again, the solution is simple. Don't. Just don't do the dumb thing. If there's a tape that allegedly kills people seven days after watching it, I'd go ahead and not watch. Riveting!

    15. The Exorcist (1973). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%

    Warner Bros.

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    Warner Bros.

    For the third time in a row, I would just NOT. In this case, I'd not play with a Ouija board. That's what sparked the possession in this film, and once an evil spirit decides to take the reins of your body, there's not much you can do. This is why horror flicks about demons/Satan have always scared me far more than slasher villains who I could physically fight. Side note: I don't want a demon to read this and take my "100% chance of survival" as a challenge, so I'd like to clarify one thing: I'm only saying I'd survive this story because I'd never do the thing that triggers spirit contact to begin with. If we're talking unprompted, involuntary possessions, I'd be screwed unless some priest was willing to invite the demon from my body and into theirs, which is what happened at the end of this film.

    14. Child's Play (1988). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 98%

    A red-haired, blue-eyed doll smiles
    Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    UFC

    Not enough people kick the shit out of Chucky. I'd never own a doll (especially one that creepy-looking), but if he somehow found his way into my vicinity, it's sneakers to the noggin immediately. You wouldn't even have to feel bad about violently beating up Chucky because he contains the spirit of a human murderer who died and took refuge in that lil' doll body. Bottom line, Chucky is a minimal threat — NEXT!

    13. It (1990). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 97%

    It the clown smiles at a boy from a storm drain
    Warner Bros. Television Distribution

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    Netflix

    Getting the hell away from Pennywise. As a kid, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near a storm drain where a clown was summoning me. I also wouldn't have joined my friends to try to kill said murderous demon clown. The only reason this isn't 100% survivable is the off chance that Pennywise decided to personally seek me out, in which case I'd still run in the opposite direction, but I can't know for certain I'd get away.

    12. Dawn of the Dead (1978). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 95%

    A group of zombies lunge forward with outstretched hands
    United Film Distribution Company

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    United Film Distribution Company

    A light jog. The zombies in this movie walk mad slow, so I'd survive for as long as I wanted to, no problem. The biggest dilemma over time would be finding sources of food and water, but ain't no way I'm getting taken out by a snail-paced zombie.

    11. The Amityville Horror (2005). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 94%

    A couple stands outside of a house looking concerned
    MGM Distribution Co.

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A U-Haul truck drives across a bridge
    U-Haul / Via youtube.com

    MOVING! I mean, for starters, I wouldn't have bought the house when they told me I'm getting a deal because a murder happened there. But even if I found myself living there, the first time I saw something legitimately eerie and unexplainable, it'd be U-HAUL time, baby!

    10. The Babadook (2014). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 93%

    The Babadook, a dark figure in a top hat with a white face opens its mouth and widens its eerie-looking eyes
    Entertainment One / Umbrella Entertainment

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    The Babadook book with its red cover and a creepy popup that shows a dark figure with one wide open eye, waving
    Entertainment One / Umbrella Entertainment

    It's my understanding that the Babadook is summoned when you read his book/begin to believe he's real. I feel like I keep repeating myself, but I'd likely never encounter the Babadook because while I might open a book with this cover, there's no way I'd get past the opening line of, “If it's in a word, or it's in a look, you can't get rid of the Babadook.” Not to mention the creepy pop up...

    However, if the Babadook came for me anyway, that's fine. I saw his work as an antagonist and I was not impressed with his performance. He haunted a woman and her child and wound up locked in a basement, so I'm confident that if I did encounter him, I'd hold my own. I'm surviving this movie one way or another, barring a massive upset.

    View this video on YouTube
    Entertainment One / Umbrella Entertainment

    9. Halloween (1978). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 90%

    A woman stands clueless as Michael Myers lingers behind her in a white mask
    Compass International Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    Africa Magic

    Again, don't underestimate the power of speedwalking. There've been 12 movies in this franchise. TWELVE. This dude walks a slow straight line like he's trying to pass a sobriety test, and somehow, people can't move fast enough to escape him. I get it, it's scary, he's in a mask, he's a big guy. Wait, how tall is Mike Myers?

    No, Google, the other one.

    A Google search reveals the actor, Mike Myers is 5'8"
    UNIVERSAL PICTURES/MOVIESTORE COLLECTION LTD / Moviestore Collection Ltd / Alamy Stock PhotoA7A collection / Photo 12 / Alamy Stock PhotoLifestyle pictures / Alamy Stock Photo / Priscilla Grant/Everett Collection/Alamy Live News

    OK, so if he's 6'7", that's a little different. I didn't realize he was THAT towering. With this knowledge, I wouldn't embrace a fight, but I'm still outrunning him or cracking him in the knees. Regardless of height, my point remains the same — Michael Myers is one of the most easily avoidable antagonists on this list, and it shouldn't take 12 (soon to be 13) movies to figure out how to stop him.

    Google says Michael Myers is 6'7 in the 2007 installment of "Halloween," but the original actor was 5'10"
    Google

    8. Us (2019). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 80%

    Universal Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A pair of girls stand upstairs, no realizing that a doppelgänger is standing next to one of them with a pair of scissors primed for stabbing
    Universal Pictures

    I mentally beat myself up about things all the time, so I don't see why it'd be difficult to physically whoop my doppelgänger. The Tethered (genetic clones) are pretty ruthless, but I truly wouldn't hesitate to fight me. Unfortunately, it's not just yourself you've got to worry about...

    ...there's a Tethered version of countless others, and they seemed to be viciously working in some degree of unity, as you can see from the human chain they form at the end of the movie. With that in mind, I think I'd have a good shot to take myself out and swap clothes so I could pretend to be him, but this certainly isn't the easiest film to survive.

    View this video on YouTube
    Universal Pictures

    7. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 75%

    A man with burned flesh and claws wears a sinister grin
    New Line Cinema

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A blue, partially transparent figure lunges behind a girl
    New Line Cinema

    I've dealt with sleep paralysis, and I feel like it has made run-of-the-mill nightmares pretty chill. Plus, Freddy Krueger has a known weakness — he feeds on fear. So, if you choose to not buy into his theatrics, you're good. Remember when a character got fed up with his bullshit and turned her back on him? He basically evaporated. So, while a villain who can kill you in your dreams is a serious threat, he can also be stopped if you realize you're in a dream and decide not to be scared. Still, he's a larger threat than any of the other horror villains we've discussed thus far.

    6. Friday the 13th (1980). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 70%

    A man in a hockey mask stands in the middle of New York City
    Paramount Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    Warning This image is graphic Tap to reveal Click to reveal
    A man with a machete through his head is keeled over
    Paramount Pictures

    If you watched Freddy vs. Jason, you know that Jason high-key won. So, for that reason, he's ranked as a larger threat. He's a (possibly supernatural) dude with a machete, but I'd have faith in my hands and weapons in combat with this guy. I remember what happened to him at the end of Friday the 13th (see above). He's droppable.

    5. Saw (2004). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 50%

    A scary doll with a white face, black hair, and red eyes sits in a chair
    Lions Gate Films

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    A man covered in blood looks scared and concerned while holding a tape recorder
    Lions Gate Films

    This is a tricky one. It totally depends on the game, but if it involves a sharp object, which seems highly likely, there's a good chance I'd panic, which could result in an adrenaline rush that helps me find a way out of the predicament OR causes me to freak out and bomb it. As a person who used to have test anxiety, this is a toss-up, and I'd love to never have to find out how I'd perform.

    4. Paranormal Activity (2007). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 25%

    Paramount Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    View this video on YouTube
    Paramount Pictures

    Remember what I said about involuntary/unprovoked hauntings/possessions? Well, this is one of those, and I'm not particularly confident that I'd make it. If a ghost decided to yeet me across the room and kill me, it's pretty much out of my hands. But if they drop a single hint that they're present by, like, pulling my blanket off or something, then that's the only window of opportunity I'd need to move/survive.

    3. It Follows (2014). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 15%

    A tall man with hallowed out eye holes lurks behind a woman in a doorway
    Northern Lights Films

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    View this video on YouTube
    Northern Lights Films

    This movie's antagonist, the Entity, seems to be a curse that stalks and kills unrelentingly. It seems one has little control over being affected by the curse, and it can be passed along through sex (is this movie a metaphor for STDs?), but once the person it's passed to dies, the curse comes back to the original owner. ... It's hard to talk survival strategy with a monster that you may or may not actually encounter, but hypothetically, if I found myself targeted by the Entity, I believe I could outrun it (see above). The problem is that it would eventually get exhausting and I'd probably just give up, making this one of the tougher films to survive.

    2. Dawn of the Dead (2004). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 5%

    A bunch of blood-thirsty zombies snarl from behind a chain link fence
    Universal Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    Universal Pictures

    I probably wouldn't — look how fast the zombies are in this version! They run like Olympic sprinters. Also, people who get bit turn to zombies super fast, so chances are I'd be done in the opening minutes.

    1. A Quiet Place (2018). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 1%

    A monster with long, snarling teeth and a wide open ear hole
    Paramount Pictures

    HOW I'D SURVIVE:

    As much as I enjoy silence, if a brother can't munch on potato chips or pop his knuckles, what's the point? It's not that I couldn't keep quiet to survive these sound-seeking aliens, it's that I'd probably get tired of tiptoeing around and it'd come back to bite me...and claw me, and whatever other vicious attack these monsters do.