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    17 Horror Movies Ranked From “I'd Make It To The End” To “I'd Be Killed In The Opening Minutes”

    Too many horror plots could've been avoided if people would've just not done a dumb thing.

    As anyone who watches horror movies knows, part of the thrill is being frightened, but what also gets the heart rate up? Being annoyed at the characters for their atrocious decision-making. It can be infuriating to watch fools find ways to get killed in survivable scenarios. So, today I'm going to lay out some of the most popular horror films, ranked from how easy they'd be to live through to how challenging they'd be to withstand.

    WARNING: Spoilers below.

    17. Candyman (2021). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%

    The silhouette of a man with a hook for a hand and hollowed out eyes and ribs


    A group of girls are gathered in front of the bathroom mirror, one leaves and says, "not today." Minutes later, in the reflection of a mirror we can see one of the girls on the ground, covered in blood

    16. The Ring (2001). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%


    A woman watches a TV screen with a giant ring on it

    15. The Exorcist (1973). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 100%


    14. Child's Play (1988). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 98%

    A red-haired, blue-eyed doll smiles


    13. It (1990). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 97%

    It the clown smiles at a boy from a storm drain


    12. Dawn of the Dead (1978). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 95%

    A group of zombies lunge forward with outstretched hands


    11. The Amityville Horror (2005). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 94%

    A couple stands outside of a house looking concerned


    A U-Haul truck drives across a bridge

    10. The Babadook (2014). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 93%

    The Babadook, a dark figure in a top hat with a white face opens its mouth and widens its eerie-looking eyes


    The Babadook book with its red cover and a creepy popup that shows a dark figure with one wide open eye, waving

    However, if the Babadook came for me anyway, that's fine. I saw his work as an antagonist and I was not impressed with his performance. He haunted a woman and her child and wound up locked in a basement, so I'm confident that if I did encounter him, I'd hold my own. I'm surviving this movie one way or another, barring a massive upset.

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    Entertainment One / Umbrella Entertainment

    9. Halloween (1978). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 90%

    A woman stands clueless as Michael Myers lingers behind her in a white mask


    No, Google, the other one.

    A Google search reveals the actor, Mike Myers is 5'8"

    OK, so if he's 6'7", that's a little different. I didn't realize he was THAT towering. With this knowledge, I wouldn't embrace a fight, but I'm still outrunning him or cracking him in the knees. Regardless of height, my point remains the same — Michael Myers is one of the most easily avoidable antagonists on this list, and it shouldn't take 12 (soon to be 13) movies to figure out how to stop him.

    Google says Michael Myers is 6'7 in the 2007 installment of "Halloween," but the original actor was 5'10"

    8. Us (2019). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 80%


    A pair of girls stand upstairs, no realizing that a doppelgänger is standing next to one of them with a pair of scissors primed for stabbing

    ...there's a Tethered version of countless others, and they seemed to be viciously working in some degree of unity, as you can see from the human chain they form at the end of the movie. With that in mind, I think I'd have a good shot to take myself out and swap clothes so I could pretend to be him, but this certainly isn't the easiest film to survive.

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    Universal Pictures

    7. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 75%

    A man with burned flesh and claws wears a sinister grin


    A blue, partially transparent figure lunges behind a girl

    6. Friday the 13th (1980). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 70%

    A man in a hockey mask stands in the middle of New York City


    5. Saw (2004). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 50%

    A scary doll with a white face, black hair, and red eyes sits in a chair


    A man covered in blood looks scared and concerned while holding a tape recorder

    4. Paranormal Activity (2007). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 25%


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    Paramount Pictures

    Remember what I said about involuntary/unprovoked hauntings/possessions? Well, this is one of those, and I'm not particularly confident that I'd make it. If a ghost decided to yeet me across the room and kill me, it's pretty much out of my hands. But if they drop a single hint that they're present by, like, pulling my blanket off or something, then that's the only window of opportunity I'd need to move/survive.

    3. It Follows (2014). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 15%

    A tall man with hallowed out eye holes lurks behind a woman in a doorway


    View this video on YouTube

    Northern Lights Films

    This movie's antagonist, the Entity, seems to be a curse that stalks and kills unrelentingly. It seems one has little control over being affected by the curse, and it can be passed along through sex (is this movie a metaphor for STDs?), but once the person it's passed to dies, the curse comes back to the original owner. ... It's hard to talk survival strategy with a monster that you may or may not actually encounter, but hypothetically, if I found myself targeted by the Entity, I believe I could outrun it (see above). The problem is that it would eventually get exhausting and I'd probably just give up, making this one of the tougher films to survive.

    2. Dawn of the Dead (2004). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 5%

    A bunch of blood-thirsty zombies snarl from behind a chain link fence


    1. A Quiet Place (2018). CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: 1%

    A monster with long, snarling teeth and a wide open ear hole


    As much as I enjoy silence, if a brother can't munch on potato chips or pop his knuckles, what's the point? It's not that I couldn't keep quiet to survive these sound-seeking aliens, it's that I'd probably get tired of tiptoeing around and it'd come back to bite me...and claw me, and whatever other vicious attack these monsters do.