14 Times You Were Punished For Your End-Of-The-Alphabet Name
Alphabetism: The discrimination against people whose last names fall near the end of the alphabet.
It all started in Hellementary school with one unjust sentence:
This A to Z bullshit meant lunch was yesterday's leftovers for you.
By the time you got your lunch, there was never anywhere left to sit in the cafeteria.
But the discrimination didn't stop at lunch. You were forced back to your seat IN THE BACK OF THE CLASSROOM with the other X, Y, and Zs.
You could never read or hear jack shit in the back of the classroom while Aaron Adams and Ashely Anderson GOT ALL OF THE ATTENTION.
LITERALLY NONE of your classmates knew of your existence because you were always behind them in EVERYTHING you did.
The words "last but not least" only inflated your inferiority complex every time your teacher called roll.
You heard rumors of a mythical "reverse alphabetical order."
Come the end of every school year, you were on the forgotten last page of the yearbook THAT NO ONE EVER SAW.
Graduation was cool WHEN NO ONE CHEERED FOR YOU because everyone was ZZZ'ing by the time it was Z's turn.
College was fun when you ALWAYS registered last and you were stuck with all 8 a.m. classes.
Surely the discrimination stops at some point, right?
AND THEY'RE LESS LIKELY TO LEAD THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
IT'S OUR TURN TO CALL FIRST DIBS FOR ONCE!!!
AND SHOW A THROUGH P HOW TO FOLLOW THE LEADER!!!
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