back to top

17 Things We Know So Far About The Terrifying New Happy Meal Box

Is this the end?

Posted on

Last week, McDonald's introduced a new mascot to their American market: Happy The Box.

Say hello to our newest friend, Happy! http://t.co/CuR3hU8Chj #HappyMeal

McDonald's@McDonalds

Say hello to our newest friend, Happy! http://t.co/CuR3hU8Chj #HappyMeal

12:02 PM - 19 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Advertisement

Slowly it has been terrorizing lives and destroying happiness at its source. Here's what we know so far about the cardboard demon:

1. On May 23rd, the box started its reign of horror in America.

Reports of the Happy Meal makeover are alarmingly true.

Philip Michaels@PhilipMichaels

Reports of the Happy Meal makeover are alarmingly true.

6:57 PM - 22 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. On May 24th, an incident was reported to police of Happy latching onto an 8-year-old boy's face. The boy's current condition is unknown.

instagram.com

3. We know the box shops at Walmart. It presumably likes bargains.

instagram.com
Advertisement

5. We know the box CANNOT be exorcised or destroyed with fire.

instagram.com

6. And the box can navigate complicated subway systems that even some humans can't.

instagram.com
Advertisement

14. And we know forming an army is exactly what they're plotting to do.

instagram.com

16. And there's no way to escape them. Even after you throw them away.

instagram.com

Promoted

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss