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    Posted on May 30, 2014

    17 Things We Know So Far About The Terrifying New Happy Meal Box

    Is this the end?

    Last week, McDonald's introduced a new mascot to their American market: Happy The Box.

    Say hello to our newest friend, Happy! http://t.co/CuR3hU8Chj #HappyMeal

    McDonald's@McDonalds

    Say hello to our newest friend, Happy! http://t.co/CuR3hU8Chj #HappyMeal

    12:02 PM - 19 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Slowly it has been terrorizing lives and destroying happiness at its source. Here's what we know so far about the cardboard demon:

    1. On May 23rd, the box started its reign of horror in America.

    Reports of the Happy Meal makeover are alarmingly true.

    Philip Michaels@PhilipMichaels

    Reports of the Happy Meal makeover are alarmingly true.

    6:57 PM - 22 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

    2. On May 24th, an incident was reported to police of Happy latching onto an 8-year-old boy's face. The boy's current condition is unknown.

    3. We know the box shops at Walmart. It presumably likes bargains.

    4. We know the box is acclimated to adverse temperatures like those found in the fridge.

    5. We know the box CANNOT be exorcised or destroyed with fire.

    6. And the box can navigate complicated subway systems that even some humans can't.

    7. We know the box has succeeded in sucking the happiness out of the "happiest place on earth."

    My Tramp Adventures / Via rippletramp.tumblr.com

    8. And every food court in America.

    9. We know the box has taken full advantage of its time in Colorado.

    StarskyAndHutch / Via imgur.com

    10. And we know they're even bigger in Texas.

    Valkrine / Via imgur.com

    11. We know they've infiltrated birthday parties.

    12. And they're inside homes, waiting for the night to fall.

    rosietheamazon / Via rosietheamazon.tumblr.com

    13. We don't know how many are out there, but we know there's enough to create an army.

    14. And we know forming an army is exactly what they're plotting to do.

    15. We know the boxes are literally everywhere, watching you at all times.

    QuickenYo / Via imgur.com

    16. And there's no way to escape them. Even after you throw them away.

    17. Basically, we know your worst nightmare has come true.

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