1. It’s really not easy having a lifetime ticket aboard the Hot Mess Express™.
ESPECIALLY when you didn’t ask for one.
4. Like they’ve been on this hot mess grind their entire life, UOENO.
5. As a result, they’re very aware of their hot mess qualities.
So QUIT pointing them out.
6. And HELL NO. Don’t you even DARE try to relate.
YOU DON’T KNOW EVEN TGE LYFE.
7. Like they didn’t choose to be the mess, the mess CHOSE THEM.
What don’t you understand?
8. They’re impossible to blackmail because everyone knows of their royal messiness.
SO DON’T EVEN TRY.
9. Usually because they’ll let nothing get in their way from having a good time.
My leg is broke but IDGAF.
10. They’re the stars of Snapchat and the app would be NOTHING without their antics.
12. And even if they are able to date someone, it’s nearly impossible to ever impress the future in-laws.
14. And if their crack is hanging out, DON’T TAKE A PICTURE.
Like we know it already.
15. Breakfast in bed is a sure way to win their heart.
Or any meal. Chips work.
16. It’s entirely YOUR FAULT if you let them borrow your clothes.
Like HELLO, they’re a HOT MESS.
17. They hate being asked where the bruises all over their legs came from.
Because they sure as hell don’t know of their origins.
18. But at the end of the day, any hot mess won’t care what anyone else thinks.
- US Republicans are working overnight trying to finalize a deal that'd allow their Obamacare replacement plan to pass in the House.
- London police say eight arrests were made in connection to the Parliament attack. The unidentified attacker was British-born and once investigated by intelligence as a "peripheral figure," the Prime Minister said.
- A top Democrat said there's "more than circumstantial evidence" that Trump's campaign colluded with Russia during the election.
- A 4-month-old golden retriever named after Joe Biden got to meet and even lick the former vice president at the Capitol today 🐶❤️