1. It's really not easy having a lifetime ticket aboard the Hot Mess Express™.
2. Because it's literally impossible for any hot mess to do anything without getting on-board first.
3. It might seem like their life is out of control, but don't you worry THEY GOT THIS.
4. Like they've been on this hot mess grind their entire life, UOENO.
5. As a result, they're very aware of their hot mess qualities.
6. And HELL NO. Don't you even DARE try to relate.
7. Like they didn't choose to be the mess, the mess CHOSE THEM.
8. They're impossible to blackmail because everyone knows of their royal messiness.
9. Usually because they'll let nothing get in their way from having a good time.
10. They're the stars of Snapchat and the app would be NOTHING without their antics.
11. They're at an extreme disadvantage when it comes to dating.
12. And even if they are able to date someone, it's nearly impossible to ever impress the future in-laws.
This is what my father/mother in-law will be writing when I marry their son #sorrynotsorryy #hotmessproblems
13. They're never intentionally ignoring your calls.
14. And if their crack is hanging out, DON'T TAKE A PICTURE.
15. Breakfast in bed is a sure way to win their heart.
16. It's entirely YOUR FAULT if you let them borrow your clothes.
17. They hate being asked where the bruises all over their legs came from.
18. But at the end of the day, any hot mess won't care what anyone else thinks.
19. Because they know if you're going to be a mess, you may as well be a HOT mess.
