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15 Things Everyone Who's Sexually Attracted To Santa Will Understand

Hung above the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas will soon be there.

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1. Just like basically everyone else, your favorite time of the year is Christmas...

... But only because Santa gets your chimney smoking.

2. Like you've waited the WHOLE YEAR just to sit on Santa's lap again.

Whisper sweet nothings to me, Santa.

3. No matter how hard you try to be on Santa's nice list, there's something about his Figgie pudding belly that makes you FULL BLOWN NAUGHTY.

And you won't go until you get some.

4. Every year, your Christmas list is ONLY filled with toys you want Santa to sleigh you with.

Merry Xxxmas.
Getty Images/iStockphoto Connie T. Ballash

Merry Xxxmas.

5. Like to be honest, you've convinced yourself Santa has a special load ONLY for you in his sack.

Santa, is that a toy lightsaber in your pants or....?

6. You can't help but daydream all throughout December of Santa stuffing your socking with his gifts.

Stuff it FULL.
Getty Images/iStockphoto Lisa F. Young

Stuff it FULL.

7. And you often wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night because Santa brought you a big package in your dreams again.

Usually wrapped in a bow.

8. You've tried, but there's just not enough snow to cool you down when you think about visiting his North Pole.

Like you just know he keeps it well maintained.

9. And all those presents?! You'd give anything for Santa to be your sugar daddy.


10. It's extremely difficult for you to listen to "Here Comes Santa Claus" because it has a TOTALLY different meaning to you than most.

Ho, ho, hose me down, Santa.

11. You never leave cookies out for Santa because he needs room to fill himself up with other things when comes to visit you at night.

But he'll definitely have something to wash it all down with.

12. You NEVER get any sleep on Christmas Eve because you're always pulling an all-nighter in hopes you'll get a peek of those rosy cheeks.

Dat Sant-ass tho.

13. And you ALWAYS make sure to set up the Christmas tree in your bedroom so Santa HAS to make his way to your ~werkshop~.

Wake me up with me on top, let's falalalalalalalala.
Getty Images/iStockphoto _chupacabra_

Wake me up with me on top, let's falalalalalalalala.

14. Like, you know if Santa just gave you a FEW MINUTES on Christmas Eve night, it would definitely be a white Christmas.

Like, a white Christmas even on the ceiling.

15. And even though others might not understand your attraction, at the end of the day you just don't care. You just want Santa to rock you around the Christmas tree.

It would be anything but a silent night.

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