Skip To Content

    101 Old Kim Kardashian Tweets That Should Never Be Forgotten Again

    You'll want to stick around until the last one. Trust me.

    1. When she kicked off her Thanksgiving cooking with "seet potatoe souffle":

    Happy Thanksgiving twitterfam! Let the cooking begin! I'm starting with my seet potatoe souffle! yummy!

    2. When she went to Walmart for Christmas decorations:

    We just got our tree! It's beautiful! Just leaving Walmart now, got amazing ornaments & lights there!

    3. When Fergie said this:

    Fergie just told me I look like the brunette Marilyn Monroe!

    4. When traveling gave her diarrhea:

    Ok dolls, going to bed. Not feeling like myself tonight. All this traveling is giving me diarrhea. Goodnight!

    5. When she walked by "Mary J. Blidge":

    Just saw Mary J. Blidge walk by me in Beverly Hills, she is the dopest!!! What's your favorite Mary Song?

    6. When she was living for the drama on Maury:

    Watching paternity tests on Maury! So scandalous!!!

    7. When iPads made reading fun again:

    My favorite feature on the ipad is downloading books! Reading is fun again! It has everything on this ipad!

    8. When she had to end the rumor she stomped a dog to death...again:

    What's so awful, is they made up this same exact rumor last year, that I stomped a dog to death! People are so cruel! This is not true!

    9. When she made up the identity "unintentional vegetarian":

    I like tofu better than chicken and beef. I think I'm an unintentional vegetarian.

    10. When she was hyped for Sandra Bullock:

    I love that Sandra Bullock won a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year!

    11. When she pondered the legalities of a 2-year-old chain-smoker:

    This 2 year old smoking baby in Indonesia is just disturbing. Is this legal?

    12. When! she! was! about! to! see! Avatar! in! 3D!!!:

    Avatar! Can't wait! Have u guys seen it? I heard its amazing! Walking in now! 3D baby!

    13. When she subtweeted iPhones:

    I like the feeling of having buttons to press, not just a touch screen

    14. When she confessed her beliefs:

    15. When she tweeted about this woman:

    Some woman at this hotel just came up 2 me said..."U look so much better alive" What is that supposed 2 mean?

    16. When her vigilant eyes exposed Shakira's recycled look:

    Anyone else notice that during her AMA performance Shakira wore the same exact dress Jennifer Lopez wore a few weeks ago in Miami?

    17. When she dragged AC:

    I hate air conditioning. It always gives me a cold

    18. When a day of surfing changed her:

    i just surfed the day away...caught a good old radical wave off the coast of bermuda. tubular right dudes?

    19. When she loved "randome" facts:

    Anyone else follow @OMGFACTS It's very interesting! I'm loving these randome facts!

    20. When she watched a little too much MTV:

    wish I was fist pumping at the jersey shore tonight! LOL

    21. When she was freed by losing her Blackberry:

    I lost my blackberry! No phone, no contacts! Kinda feels freeing! Maybe time to change all my info!

    22. When she was addicted to the roasted almonds they sell on the street:

    I'm addicted to the roasted almonds that they sell on the street!

    23. When she was inspired by Vanessa Hudgens:

    @VanessaAHudgens I love your did u do it? I wanna copy u!

    24. When she enjoyed unique cuisine in France:

    French fries were extra good in France! Tonight's menu will be spaghetti and Italian!

    25. When Nicole Richie introduced her to almond milk:

    I just tried Almond Milk today...thanks @nicolerichie for the health food tip!

    26. When she thought about painting her nails "burgandy":

    27. When she couldn't keep up with her personal hygiene:

    Ew I forgot to wear deodorant to the gym today! LOL

    28. When she was a Kit Kat truther:

    Kit Kat is my fav candy bar but its tastes different in other countries. Why would they change the filling in between the wafers?

    29. When a jumbo dream of hers came true:

    I was just on the jumbo-tron at the Knicks game!!! I've always wanted to be on one! Haha

    30. When she didn't know the origins of a pickle:

    Wait is a cucumber a pickle??? I did not know this at all! Is @JonathanCheban lying to me?

    31. When she had meeting-the-wax-figure jitters:

    Getting ready to see my wax figure! I'm so nervous! Will it be weird? Will it look identical to me?

    32. When all she had was "a little sizzzuurrrppp":

    @KhloeKardashian I didnt drink! All I had was a little si-zzzuurrrrppp

    33. When she loved Taylor Swift but not as much as her sisters:

    I love @JustinBieber and @TaylorSwift13 ! But I love @KourtneyKardash and @KhloeKardashian even more!

    34. When she had more "tweet friends" than Oprah:

    I'm in total shock! I have almost 2.5 mill tweet friends! I LUV U GUYS SO MUCH! Can't believe I have more than Oprah, Shaq & Diddy! WOW

    35. When she gloated:

    36. When she was annoyed she got pulled over for doing illegal things:

    ughhhh just got pulled over for tinted windows & no license plate!

    37. When she opened up about her addictions:

    Is it weird that I like ranch dressing with everything? I guess that makes my dinner not as healthy :-( its so yummy w an artichoke

    38. When she tweeted LMFAO lyrics:

    39. When she didn't know what "SMH" meant and questioned if people really meant "SHM":

    or is it SHM? i see it on blogs all the time! What does it mean?

    40. When she laughed out loud about her cartoon death:

    Did anyone see SouthPark yesterday? Kourtney, Khloe and I got killed! LOL

    41. When she came for smoke detectors' chirps:

    How annoying is a smoke detector when the battery is low..that non stop chirp! I hope I can sleep!

    42. When she needed a name for her alter ego:

    43. When her weird mood was unexplainable:

    I'm in a weird mood today.... Can't explain it but ugghhh

    44. When she ate a small box of Hot Tamales:

    I just ate the small Halloween size box of Hot Tamales WHY did I just do that before bed!!!!!!

    45. When she had one White Russian:

    The festivities have started!!!! One white russian coming up! Hmmm who can I drunk dial tonight?

    46. When "the hot part" came for her skin cells:

    Owwwww I just picked up the curling iron by the hot fingers are burning and bright red...WHAT DO I DO? I am about to cry!

    47. When Kris was embarassing:

    Ok my mom is now talking to strangers in Italian...she doesn't speak Italian! #embarassing

    48. When "trill" bugged her:

    The word trill really REALLY bugs me! Like who made that up???

    49. When things just sucked:

    Just sucks that there is someone impersonating Kendall which prevents her from using her own twitter name!

    50. When donations brought her back from the dead:

    I am back from the dead! Thank you all so much for your donations and contributions! I have missed u all so much!!!

    51. When she was having the perfect Saturday:

    I'm making my favorite snack...rice crispie treats! Perfect Saturday!

    52. When she live-tweeted an American Idol taping in 140 characters:

    I'm at American Idol taping!Wow they are all so amazing!Danny was classic,but Kris was so risky singing Heartless. Adam is about to start!

    53. When she was looking for her Libras:

    Where all my Libra's at???? Libra's are the best!

    54. When she had a bad pedicurist:

    I'm at the nail salon and the lady doing my nails messed up my toe twice! She keeps touching it when its wet! Stop messing up my toes lady!!

    55. When she witnessed a Sephora proposal:

    OMG I'm at Sephora and a guy just proposed to his girlfriend right in front of me! So sweet! I wish them all the best!!!

    56. When life was almost too cruel:

    Has anyone ever valeted their car & when u get it back the steering wheel is so dirty & grimey? It's really gross!

    57. When she revealed her favorite movie genre:

    Time Traveler's Wife was so sad. I cried so hard. I love sad love movies!

    58. When gum snatched her filling:

    OMG I was chewing a piece of gum and my filling came out!

    59. When she couldn't believe the people on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant didn't know they were pregnant:

    Watching. Discovery Channel "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" It is so hard 2 believe they didn't know they were pregnant until delivery! Crazy

    60. When she had internet access on a plane:

    I am on a plane right now! Love that I have internet access! So cool!

    61. When she raved about Khloé's kissing talents:

    Who is obsessed with @khloekardashian???? I am!!!!! She is an amazing kisser!

    62. When she showed so much strength:

    Was walking towards Cinnabon but didn't want start the new year with that as my 1st meal.

    63. When she was living for Kylie and Rob's strike dances:

    i swear Kylie & Rob act just alike! their bowling dances everytime they get a strike are classic!

    64. When she crowdsourced no-carb snacks:

    I'm going to start eating better, what are some good no carb snacks?

    65. When she stanned the Nintendo Wii:

    About to shoot Nintendo Wii commercial....wiiiii so fun!!!! Just Dance2!!! Wooowhooo!

    66. When she spelled pisces wrong:

    67. When she spinned for the first time:

    Just tried spinning for the 1st time! My thighs are burning!

    68. When she called out Diddy for @ing her but not following her:

    @iamdiddy You aren't even following me Diddy!!!! Follow me!

    69. When Ashlee Simpson's words spoke to her:

    I love this quote! RT @ashsimpsonwentz: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

    70. When she had a scary night:

    I had nightmares all night long last night! So scary

    71. When she joined in on some drama from The Hills:

    Someone stole @BrodyJenner's phone, that tweet about Adrina was not him!

    72. When she took the first step in learning a new language:

    73. When she was afraid of falling asleep while watching The Hurt Locker:

    Watching The Hurt Locker... Hope I don't fall asleep...I always fall asleep in movies

    74. When her flight attendant made her laugh:

    Our flight attendant is singing the flight instructions! LOL

    75. When she craved a salad from Carl's Jr.:

    I'm craving a Carl's Jr salad! Heading their now, think they will give me a free one?

    76. When she needed a damn recorder:

    Rob is rapping in the car so loud making up the craziest things! I wish I had a recorder!

    77. When she found out chai lattes are filled with sugar:

    Just had the best workout! The trainer just told me Chai Latte's are filled w sugar...mannnn!

    78. When Grandma wouldn't let her tweet during breakfast:

    My grandma won't let me tweet during breakfast! Gotta go! xo

    79. When she got deep:

    How come Dr's never get sick when they see sick people every day!

    80. When she tried yoga:

    Tried yoga today. Was very relaxing. I was into it! Think I will try it again!

    81. When she stanned James Blunt:

    Listening to "You're Beautiful" by James of my all time favorite songs!

    82. When she tried to get Kourtney a bunch of followers:

    I want my sister @KourtneyKardash to get to a million followers! Help a sister out!!!!!!!!

    83. When she teased an awful texting and driving experience but never shared it with us:

    I had an awful texting and driving experience, can't wait to share it with u all one day! Seriously its so unsafe and its so preventable!!!

    84. When she needed your bowling tips:

    I went bowling last night & I started off so good w strikes then finished off w gutter balls! I need bowling tips! Got any?

    85. When she was so hungry:

    86. When she wanted to know your go-to period snack:

    Oreos never fail me when I am PMSing and need a fix! Ladies what is your craving of choice during that time of month?

    87. When she watched the news:

    I've been watching the news about the rocket crashing into the moon! Did they find water or ice?

    88. When she had to explain that Kylie and Kendall aren't twins:

    No Kendall is 14 & Kylie is 12 RT @Cookye85 Is your lil sisters twins

    89. When she preached the truth about teeth health:

    I read that If u don't take care of your teeth then u live 6 years less than expected. Lots of disease lives in your mouth!

    90. When she wished Jesus a happy birthday:

    Jesus is the reason for the season! Happy Birthday Jesus, Merry Christmas!!!

    91. When she revealed she loves to beat people:

    And now I think I am the worlds greatest Taboo player! LOL I love games love to beat people! I get so competitive

    92. When she needed an intervention:

    I want a mint oreo so badly...Please talk me out of it

    93. When she remembered a prehistoric dream. LOL:

    I think I had a dream about Dinosaur's last night. LOL

    94. When Kendall got her braces off and booked a major gig 4 teens:

    Kendall just got her braces off! She just got her 1st huge modeling gig! u will never guess who for! Most popluar clothing store 4 teens!

    95. When Jennifer Love Hewitt promised to go running with her:

    I just interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt! She is sooo pretty! She promised to go running w me tomorrow! Love LOVE!

    96. When a woman thought she was 8 months pregnant:

    Some woman just came up to me & said congrats 4 being pregnant! I know she thought I was Kourt but rude! Do I look 8 months preggo?

    97. When she drank Pepsi MAX:

    Drinking Pepsi MAX right now! No calories! Best new diet drink! Gives me energy when I'm traveling!

    98. When Black Friday was trash:

    i dont know bout where u guys livebut out here Black Friday sucked! None of the good stuff was on sale!

    99. When she loved quotes:

    100. When she tried to make Kourtney and Mario Lopez a couple:

    Wouldn't Kourtney and Mario Lopez be a hot couple!!!

    101. And whatever this is:

    don't you think @khloekardashian is the softest tongue... When she licks my back I get goose bumps all over... Want a twit pic?

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form