22 Delusional Thoughts All People In Los Angeles Have

Lost in Angeles.

1. “I’ll worry about parking when I get there.”

Paramount Pictures / Via reddit.com

Reality: Worry about it now because there AIN’T GONNA BE ANY PARKING.

2. “I know what to do during an earthquake.”

KTLA / Via reddit.com

Reality: “HOLY FUCK IS THIS AN EARTHQUAKE?!?!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!?@!@#@!#@”

3. “I’ll start the [insert ridiculous juice cleanse and/or diet] tomorrow.”

Reality: It will always be “tomorrow.” The power of gluten is both satanic and irresistible.

4. “There shouldn’t be much traffic at this time of day.”

Reality: THERE’S ALWAYS TRAFFIC.

5. “It totally looks like it’s gonna rain!”

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: infinitewilderness

Reality: NOPE. Just smog.

6. “I’ll be there in 20 minutes!”

Reality: Marina del Rey at this hour? Stuart, not on your life.

7. “I’ll wake up to move my car before street cleaning.”

Reality: You’ll wake up to another parking ticket.

8. “This shortcut is going to cut my driving time IN HALF.”

MTV / Via imgarcade.com

Reality: Doubled your driving time.

9. “The beach is going to be so relaxing today.”

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: environmentblog

Reality: Lol.

10. “Runyon shouldn’t be too crowded right now.”

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via fanpop.com

Reality: I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR DAMN DOGS.

11. “I’m going to start buying my coffee from only local cafes.”

Reality: Your Starbucks triple, venti, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato is calling.

12. “I think I’ll go for a run today.”

Reality: HELL NO. IT’S HOT AND POLLUTED.

13. “In-N-Out should be a quick lunch.”

Reality: Shorter lines at Disneyland.

14. “I’m going to watch my carbon footprint and take the subway.”

Reality: You’re not about to give up the convenience of your car to learn confusing subway routes.

15. “It’s so warm out today, I won’t need a jacket.”

Reality: Until the sun goes down and you need your North Face.

16. “I only buy food from Trader Joe’s. I’m so healthy.”

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: meginsanity

Reality: Two words: Cookie Butter.

17. “My car is so shitty.”

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jurvetson

Reality: Just because it’s not a Tesla, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR 2014 NISSAN ALTIMA.

18. “This wheatgrass shot will fill me up for lunch.”

Reality: Fuck the juice cleanse, YOU NEED PIZZA.

19. “I should buy warm clothes for the winter.”

VH1 / Via hercampus.com

Reality: Oops, still 72 and sunny.

20. “I know my way around, I don’t need my GPS anymore.”

20th Century Fox / Via gifbay.com

Reality: “How the fuck did I end up in Koreatown?”

21. “OMG I JUST SAW BRITNEY SPEARS!”

MTV / Via mtv.tumblr.com

Reality: Nope. Just a “Real Housewife” of Beverly Hills. (But still meltdown-worthy).

22. “I’ll settle down somewhere else one day.”

Reality: You’ll never be able to leave this City of Angels.

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