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Are You Ready To Bottom?

Bottoms up!

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    Andrew Richard/BuzzFeed
    Check
    You know where to find someone who can top you tonight.
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    You have someone coming over to top tonight.
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    You made a trip to the sex shop within the past month.
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    Past year.
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    You own a toy made for your bum.
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    You have used said toy already today to prep.
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    You will use said toy later for prep.
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    You will use a finger or two.
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    You own some of those free lube packets you probably scored at a health clinic.
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    You own water-based lube.
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    You own silicone-based lube.
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    You own lube that tastes like something.
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    You own lube with either a heating or cooling effect.
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    You own every kind of lube imaginable.
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    And you've got lubricated condoms, too.
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    You also have ones with a vibrating ring.
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    You have a good amount of condoms in general.
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    You feel relaxed.
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    You will find a way to get more relaxed by tonight.
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    You stretched...your legs.
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    You plan to stretch.
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    You did butt kegels.
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    You haven't eaten greasy food within the past week.
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    You haven't eaten greasy food today.
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    You have bathed in the past day.
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    You've rinsed off your bum thoroughly.
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    You have used baby wipes on your bum in the past day.
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    Your bum is groomed according to your personal preference.
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    You own a pair of underwear that makes you feel sexy.
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    You cleaned your room.
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    You have made your bed.
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    You have added fresh sheets to your bed.
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    You laid out a tarp (you can never be too safe).
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    You prepared a playlist for the evening.
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    Your playlist includes "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa.
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    And "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas because it's going to be a good, good night indeed.
 
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