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    25 Things Only Shetlanders Know

    Shetland is marooned in the middle of nowhere off the top of Scotland, with the isles considerably closer to Bergen than Edinburgh, so naturally, it's a bit of a mystery to some. But yes, we do have the internet and no, there aren't any polar bears. I think. But despite the remoteness, there's lots to offer...

    1. Amid the 23,000 people, there's some hairy Vikings

    And in true Viking tradition, the main Up Helly Aa event in Lerwick burns a galley in a playpark, right near the big slide

    2. There's probably Britain's best road sign

    3. And there's every photographer's dream, the Northern Lights - or as they're called in Shetland, the Mirrie Dancers

    4. There's the ponies too, but contrary to popular belief, they're not absolutely everywhere

    5. Shetland's Fair Isle knitwear has influenced fashion

    But the boiler suit and yellow boots combo has yet to kick off down south

    6. We pretty much have Britain's 'most northerly' everything - the most northerly brewery

    …the most northerly golf course

    …and of course, Britain's most northerly 'dancing' pony, Socks

    7. We always have good nights

    8. And even the bad days, when the wind slaps your face with the anger of Hulk Hogan after he discovers the milk's run out, are pretty great

    9. Growing up in Shetland meant beaches, sledging for miles, safety, building dams, sitting in front of the fire, grubby hands, and above all, a clean soul

    10. And this, sadly now a Specsavers, is where many teens spent their Saturday afternoons

    11. Because there's no fast food chains to feed the masses with insipid fare, Shetland manages to get by pretty well food-wise

    12. Going for one pint might start something like this

    ...but it'll probably end up like this

    13. The bouncy twelve-hour boat journey to and from Aberdeen usually results in this

    14. ...and the plane trip back south might start off like this

    View this video on YouTube

    Our pilots aren't drunkards, promise. It's just wind. Just wind...

    15. If the boat is cancelled a few times in bad weather, the supermarket shelves get wiped out in fear of starvation

    16. Our wildlife inspires the awe

    17. ...but unfortunately our birds aren't quite toilet trained yet

    18. Our remote landscapes are pretty noteworthy

    19. Even when you're not in Shetland, you somehow manage to bump into Shetlanders everywhere

    20. The lilting dialect meanwhile is so catchy that even our sheepy friends speak it

    21. And Shetland's other native language, music, keeps on buzzing

    22. Sometimes we have slow news days

    23. Shetlanders always stop and speak to each other on 'Da Street' even if there's nothing much to say

    24. Even though there are tens of thousands of folk spread across numerous islands, Shetland still seems like one big community

    25. And that's one of the many reasons why I'm happy to call it home