1. A Negative,
A Celebratory Dance,
2. And Mother Nature.
3. Everyday Sexism. Whether Pregnant or Period- They Will Find a Way to Assume It's Just Your 'Hormones'.
4. No Preferred Seating For You.
5. People Mistaking Your Holiday Fat for a Growing Newborn.
6. Throwing Up in the Morning
7. Guilt Free… Everything, Really.
8. Because You Don't Have to Deal With Needy Children- or Uteruses
9. And You Get to Smugly Rub All This Guilt Free Enjoyment in on Your, Less Fortunate, Embryo Burdened Friends.
10. Meanwhile Your Pregnant Friends Get to Enjoy Guilt Free...
11. and, Well... Sex.
12. Expect late nights...
13. And Live It Up Before Your Parents Start Bugging You For Grandchildren...
14. Can Someone Just Bring Me Some Wine Already?
15. Expect to Read Warning Labels for Your Own Safety
16. Unimpeded Spontaneous Travel
17. Pants Without an Elastic Band
18. And Forfeiture of all Naming Rights to Nonexistent Baby.
19. Then You Get to Enjoy the Next ‘Expectancy Scare’ All Over Again Next Month
20. But No Matter What State Your Womb is In, This Will Always Be a Bad Idea.
21. Now Go Forth and Fail to Multiply
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