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Unless otherwise specified, all sizes in this post are listed in women's.
1. A crisscross backless sweater that's all business in the front but party in the back because despite the fact that you only wear one color, you're never one to be boring.
2. A tiered tent dress with adjustable button straps and pockets big enough for your phone, keys, and wallet so you don't have to bring a bag if you don't want to. (*I* never do.)
3. A pair of faux croc booties that, when slipped on with ~literally~ anything, will automatically make you the coolest person in any given room. Oh these boots? These boots were made for turning heads.
4. A slouchy buckle sweater if your go-to fall fashion is oversized knits but you're looking for something with a twist.
5. A casual blazer with a classic collar and lapel you can layer over a button up for an interview or over a band tee for the photo shoot you scheduled with your BFF, 'cause you need new pics for LinkedIn and your dating profile.
6. Or an oversized vegan leather blazer if your outfit could use some textural OOMPH.
7. An off-the-shoulder satin bodysuit so stunning, no one will even think twice if they see you wearing it every time you leave the house. Go on with your bad self.
8. A bouncy button-down dress that can be worn two different ways so if you end up being obsessed with it, you can wear it multiple times a week! Sooo really...it's like spending $44 on two different dresses and not $88 on one, if ya think about it!
9. A black satin slip you can layer over a graphic tee, under a leather jacket or chunky sweater, or just wear on its own for a Carrie Bradshaw moment.
10. A mock neck open-back sweater if you're not so into the cold shoulder look, but could always use some extra ventilation.
11. A versatile button-front LBD that pairs with your braided chunky heels *just* as well as your platform Doc Martens. (Just don't forget the socks — maybe two pairs to be safe.)
12. A smocked crop top with straps that are actually thick enough to conceal even the most unruly bra strap because if you're built like me, strapless styles are just out of the question.
13. A croc-print shoulder bag because no matter your age, you deserve to dress/accessorize like a Gen Z influencer if you so please! (Daily affirmation complete 🙏 .)
14. A witty crewneck sweatshirt in case anyone has doubts about what your favorite season is.
15. A faded Fleetwood Mac or Nirvana band tee you can throw on when you're going to your favorite coffeeshop so the barista will know you have great taste in music.
16. A alien patch sweatshirt that makes it abundantly clear you'll talk anyone's ear off about just what's going down in/around Area 51.
17. A thick, textured cardigan with voluminous sleeves and an easy fit you can pair with just about anything — even day-old sweats.
18. A convertible Free People bodysuit you can literally wear days in a row even if you're seeing the same people since you can switch up the neckline for a different look every time.
19. A denim Universal Standard shirt dress that calls for very little effort on your part. Basically: to roll up the sleeves or to not roll up the sleeves? That is the [only] question.
20. A faux leather jacket that, as Justin Theroux has taught me, can be worn with your choice of black jeans, black tees, and black boots. Or, you know, whatever else you usually wear.
21. A rib-knit skirt you can wear at your natural waist or hike up for a shorter silhouette if you feel like lettin' ya knees breathe.
22. A pair of reliable black skinny jeans so easy to style, you can basically get dressed in the dark.
23. Or if you want something with a lil' more pizzazz — a pair of high-waisted distressed jeans that go *perfectly* with crop tops, slinky tanks, open-front cardigans, and whatever else you're planning to wear in those two weird fall weeks when it's, like, hot but also cold?
24. An on-trend waist bag with just enough room for all of your essentials: smartphone, card wallet, and pack of Fruit Stripe gum (you know — the one with the Zebra and temporary tattoos) that only keeps its flavor for like two seconds but it just tastes so darn good.
25. A pair of faux-leather trousers that fit more like PJ pants and less like a wet suit. No matter how big your lunch, you won't have to worry about splitting a seam or finding scissors so you can cut your way to freedom.
26. A pair of dazzling star-embellished leggings from d.bleu.dazzled — the brand behind some of Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Lizzo, and Rihanna's go-to hosiery.
27. A puff-sleeve blouse that'll satisfy your need for all-black-everything but also keep things fresh and ~interesting~ with patterned mesh detailing.
28. A pair of thigh-high boots sure to have you singing Naomi Smalls' RPDR hit. 🎶 "Every day is leg day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..."🎶
29. A batwing sweater dress you can layer over tights for extra warmth, dress down with trendy sneakers, or dress up with sexy over-the-knee boots. With this dress, the world is truly your oyster.
30. A pair of fleece-lined faux leather leggings that are sexy, soft, and oh so warm. If you've been eyeing a pair from Spanx but don't have $100 to shell out, they're a great dupe!
31. A simple Aritzia tank with skinny lil' spaghetti straps and a midriff-baring cut that pairs exceptionally well with high-rise pants. Hot take: Ain't nothing wrong with those pants being skinny jeans, either!
32. A bucket hat so your noggin can get in on the look as well. Since it's lined with fleece, the topper will also keep your ears warm when it's cold or rainy outside.
33. A tie-waist, lantern-sleeve dress with a simple silhouette made more exciting by an adjustable tie. Slip on some platform sneakers or thigh-high suede boots and you're all done, bb!
34. A pair of high-shine vegan Doc sandals packed with all the sass of a regular ol' pair (and the durability) but none of the animal byproducts.
35. A knotted midi skirt with a lil' slit from which your leg can peek out Angelina Jolie red carpet style, but only if you allow it.
36. A drapey Madewell blouse that French tucks like no other. Plus, the oversized fit means you can slip it on over your head without having to button it and then re-button it when you realize you were off by one.
37. A pair of shorts featuring an elastic paper bag waist that won't restrict you — so go ahead an add that extra guac to your burrito.
38. An elegant square-neck top that gives me major Mila Kunis in Black Swan vibes. If her fictional ballerina character knew about this top, I'm certain she'd have multiple.
39. A pearl-embellished top for the person who loves to be a lil' ~extra~ but can never remember to actually accessorize. This top does it for ya.
40. And, if you just can't get enough of that style, a similar bodycon dress with dramatic see-through sleeves that really show off your guns. I also can't help but think of how dope this would look on someone with a whole sleeve of tats!
41. A wide-brim hat capable of blocking harmful UV rays and helping you on your journey to an Alexis Rose-approved closet.
42. And a one-and-done coverall because sometimes, just having to pick out undergarments is already more than I can handle.
Before you go, a parting note from one person who only wears black to another:
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