1. The “Hannah” Award Goes to…
2. The Hamster
Big brown eyes and loves cupcakes. Also, hamsters exhibit extreme OCD behavior when they’re on their wheels.
3. The “Adam”…
4. The Monkey
Cute but volatile
5. The “Marnie” Goes to…
6. The Standard Poodle
Beautiful, smart, uptight and attracted to Labradors (see Charlie’s doppleganger below).
7. Exhibit B for Marni as the Standard Poodle
Loves to do covers of songs when she’s depressed.
8. The “Charlie”…
9. The Labrador
Loyal to a fault, he just wants to make sweet sweet labradoodles with Marnie the poodle.
10. The “Shoshana”…
11. The Lovable and High Maintenance Shih-Tzu
Killer/Crazy hairstyles, this shih-tzu would definitely claim “I may be deflowered but I’m not devalued”
12. As for the “Ray” Award…
13. The Snapper Turtle
Judgmental, he does not usually come out of his shell. Only for certain, lovably shih-tzu’s bound to break his ambition-less heart.
14. And Finally, the “Jessa” Award Goes to…
15. The Lisa Frank Dolphin
Free-spirited, sometimes Jessa’s existence seems unreal but always colorful**
**Also, not to ruin your favorite childhood brand but these dolphins totally look like they’re having an orgy and Jessa would totally be down for that.
- Iraq's prime minister has ordered the arrest of anti-government protesters who breached Baghdad's fortified "Green Zone" and occupied the parliament building.
- Daniel J. Berrigan, an American priest and poet famous for leading anti-Vietnam War protests, has died at the age 94.
- U.S. President Barack Obama zinged the media and presidential contenders before dropping the mic at his final White House Correspondents' Dinner 🇺🇸