1.
When you get home after successfully holding in your fart during your date.
2.
When you say that you're proficient in Excel on your resumé.
3.
When you're overdressed for a party but decide you don't GAF.
4.
When you're so addicted to technology, you can't stop even on vacation.
5.
When you open Twitter and decide nope, not today.
6.
When you want to send your ex that text and your friends stop you.
7.
When you hear your roommate in the kitchen and you know they're stealing your food again.
8.
When you're enjoying an apple and some kid you don't know shows up in your kitchen.
9.
When your mom joins Snapchat.
10.
When sand gets stuck in your ears but you're having such a good time.
11.
When you realize no one's listening to your fire story.
12.
When your boss gives you ANOTHER thing to do when you're already swamped.
13.
When you think back on your life and realize how much time you've spent on the small things.
14.
When ANOTHER food article comes out saying this food or that food is bad for you now.
15.
When you get through another week.
16.
And when you take such a perfect shit that you can't stop thinking about it all day.
