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A Letter From Pluto

Pluto's back, muthaf****z!!

Posted on

Hey guys.

It's me, Pluto.

I've heard there's a decent amount of hoopla about getting me back in the planetary family. I can't tell you how much it means to me.

I know I've been silent for these past years and I'm sorry for that. You see, the 70 years I spent with my planetary fam were the best of my life. I felt valued for my differences and at home in the orbit of our dear father, the sun. Then 2006 came along and everything changed. I was kicked out of my family for no reason besides I wasn't "dominant" enough. I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHY I WAS VALUED?? Sorry, that still gets my core temp rising. My orbit's philosophy was about democracy, NOT about being the one with the biggest gravitas. And it wasn't good enough.

Needless to say, the past eight years have been a whirlwind. I really spiraled out of orbit, figuratively speaking. I'm not proud to say, I did too much comet dust (the black hole market makes it too easy) and got a little too cozy with dark matter. I knew it was wrong when even blue, blue Neptune shook some sense into me (even though no one in the family was speaking to me). So, I kicked my habits and have been living my life more peacefully.

I've come to terms with my family disowning me and have even started painting!

Plut O.

I guess I'm writing because I want to tell you all that I am thankful for your support, it really means the world. I would love to be part of the fam again. Nothing would make me happier. But know that no matter the outcome, I'm okay. I've found me again. I'm back. I'm Pluto.

Love n Star Gazin',

Plut O.