The 16 People You’ve Seen At The Bar

Don’t pretend like you haven’t been at least one of these alcohol-induced alter egos.

1. The random acquaintance that you’ve talked to twice and now they think they are your best friend:

“Oh my gaaaawd, aren’t you in my zumba class? Your hair is soooooo pretty.” Aaaand we’re hugging.

2. That couple making out and groping in the corner all night:

If I wanted to see people eating each other’s faces I would just watch ‘The Walking Dead’.

3. That guy trying to start fights with everyone:

He’s all jacked up on redbull & vodka.

4. That chick crying in the bathroom:

There’s lots of hiccuping, gulping and ugly sobs. Generally surrounded by other girls saying “men are ASSHOLES.”

5. That guy that thinks he can drive home:

Dude, you can’t even work your feet.

6. The TMI-er:

I did not need to know that you shaved your pubes into a lightning bolt shape.

7. That guy trying to aggressively approach females on the dance floor:

Ummmm, bye.

8. That person buying everyone shots:

Stop. Just stop.

9. The underdresser:

No one needs to see your dry legs when it’s 25 degrees out.

10. The close talker:

If you have a bubble, it’s been totally broken by this person.

11. The guy doing business:

After he give’s you his business card to join the latest pyramid scheme he will run outside to take a call on his bluetooth.

12. That person who is aggressively drunk at 8 p.m:

#whitegirlwasted

13. The cackler:

You can hear this person from the other side of the bar. Over the music. And everyone else in the room.

14. The birthday/bachelorette/graduation girl:

You’ll spot her by her pink sash, tiara and probably something phallic hanging around her neck.

15. The lover:

Hey, at least they’re happy!

16. That person who loses all their fine motor skills:

Bless their stumbly little hearts.

Don’t forget to thank your DD for putting up with your drunk ass!

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