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9 Offensive Things To Say On A Date (As Told By Peguins)

Oh no, you didn't! (But he did.)

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1. Do not say that you turned down 4 girls this month, "despite how hott they were."

Via giphy.com

2. Do not tell me how you saved your last girlfriend's life, "after hesitating for a second."

3. Do not walk like a penguin. You do not look confident.

Via giphy.com

In fact, it looks like you tried to escape your penguin enclosure and fell (tragically) on the fence.

See?

Via giphy.com

4. Do not say "check" while I am mid-sentence.

Via giphy.com

This may get you a slap. Really, where is your mother?

5. Do not correct the waiter when he arrives with aforementioned check for both our drinks.

Via giphy.com

6. Do not say, "I don't pay for women's drinks, it makes them feel like they owe me something."

Via giphy.com

Them? We're not all the same bird. Also, isn't it up to me whether or not I owe you something?

7. "I don't want to keep paying 5 bucks a drink" is not an excuse to go back to your mom's house, "No strings attached."

Via giphy.com

8. Do not try and read my palm.

Does this normally work for you?

9. Do not use the words "yin" and "yang" to describe yourself.

Saying "Life is like a snowflake" is generally not a good idea, either.
Via tumblr.com

Saying "Life is like a snowflake" is generally not a good idea, either.

Let's just pretend this never happened, okay?

Via giphy.com

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