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35 Things All Students Learn In Their First Week At Uni

You survive solely off cheap noodles and naps.

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1. Your name doesn’t matter anymore and you will only introduce yourself by saying what course you’re on and where you’re from.

2. The Domino's free freshers’ week pizza is your best friend.

3. You will learn that you can never specifically say where you live. You have to say how far you are from the nearest big city like“oh I’m from near Liverpool”.

4. Your accent is stronger than you think, and yes, people can take the mick out of it for three whole years.

5. But you will also have a hand in taking the mick out of everyone else’s accent.

6. Freshers’ flu is real and won’t kill you, but it will be grim.

7. Spaghetti bolognese is now not only your staple dish but the height of culinary genius.

8. At first spag bol might go horribly wrong, you may even cook the mince paper into the meal, but eventually you will perfect it.

9. Everything needs to “soak for a few hours” before you even attempt to wash up.

10. Cutlery will last one day before you have one fork and a teaspoon to eat with for the rest of the year.

11. The real walk of shame is coming out of your room with a pile of dirty dishes.

12. Mould is just part and parcel of uni living, it's time to get used to it.

13. Supermarket ramen can be breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

14. It’s not unusual to cry on the phone to your mum mere weeks after saying “I can’t wait to move out”.

15. The walls in halls are thin, very, very thin.

16. You’re paying £9000 a year but the cost of printing is the most outrageous thing you will spend money on.

17. And introduction lecture are just a giant room of student’s nursing hangovers.

18. Your body will thank you for bulk buying cheap supermarket paracetamol in the morning.

19. Group projects are more difficult to organise than a UN conference on world peace.

20. Literally anything goes with baked beans now you’re a student.

21. The excuse “well first year doesn’t count” can be used in absolutely any situation.

22. Referencing is more of a ball-ache than all of your A-levels put together.

23. You can literally treat yourself for doing anything, like writing two words for an assignment or for doing a load of washing.

24. The drama doesn’t stop after high school, halls can sometimes feel like you’re in Eastenders.

25. Ironing is completely unnecessary, in fact you don’t even see creases any more.

26. The freshers’ fair will ruin your email inbox forever, you will be signed up for sports and societies you’ve never even heard of.

27. But it is worth pretending to sign up to them just for the free food.

28. The halls fire alarm is probably the worst thing you’ve ever experienced.

29. And it will always go off when you are in your dressing gown looking your absolute grossest.

30. Napping is no longer a thing of your childhood, now napping is a way of life.

31. Literally anything can be used as a plate, tupperware lids and ice cube trays even count.

32. The day your student loan comes in you’ll be acting like you’ve never not been rich, buying branded food and offering to buy your friends drinks.

33. But that lasts for about a week until you’re basically a lowly peasant begging for free samples again.

34. The thesaurus is your best friend when you’re trying to reach that word count.

35. And your home friends group chat will keep you going more than you know.

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