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3 years ago i DMed a girl on here. 3 years later we have each other blocked and this is a random pic i found on goo… https://t.co/6fLmCMvhGX
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HOT GIRL AT WORK: I saw Death Of A Salesman last night & I really loved it ME: [trying to impress her] I've murdered 7 pizza delivery guys
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[speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]
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She said no!!!
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*Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* "TAAA-DAAA!"
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him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses.
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I am officially lowering my dating standards to include anyone who may have access to a swimming pool. I will learn to love you. Call me.
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Stephanie, I am out to lunch. If the Sims I trapped in this bedroom finally fall in love page me IMMEDIATELY. Yes, I know they look like us.
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[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] "I've counted these fries."
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My prom date everybody
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*First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet.
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[1st date] me: are you cold? date: *shivering* a little me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
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An actual conversation between me and a girl I was "dating" in 6th grade