Buzz·Posted on 22 Dec 201623 Actually Hilarious Jokes About Lying"People be surprised when I tell em I have a 4.0 GPA while working & maintaining an active social life, but anything is possible when you lie"by Cassie SmythBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. This fashionable fib. Robert Manchild @RobertManchild [company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating] 04:57 PM - 05 Dec 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. This dating faux pas. Steve Suckington @SteveSuckington [on a date] I've got butterflies in my stomach "that's so cute. You dont have to be nervous" [flashback to me eating some butterflies] ok 06:30 AM - 24 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. This definite truth. trouteyes @trouteyes Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw 05:23 PM - 28 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. This political fabrication. Katie Claus 🤶🏻 @KatieCurtis Obama: you told him Nigel Farage was British Foreign Secretary didn't you? Biden: Obama: Joe 12:19 AM - 13 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. This genius idea. Guy Endore-Kaiser @GuyEndoreKaiser If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to fuck with people... like claim you ate a pinecone every single day. 04:11 PM - 19 Nov 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. This absolute work of art. 7. This relatable lie. Goudie @Goudie15 Barber could staple a pic ae yer maw gettin shagged tae yer heed but when he holds up that wee mirror you'd still be like ideal mate cheers 05:12 PM - 24 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. This outlandish statement. Captain Antagonist @AnOrangeSNES Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar 02:30 PM - 05 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. This John West myth. Butt Sleigh ❄️ @Butsay_ john west yer a fuckin liar that's well hard 10:22 PM - 05 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. This giant overreaction. FREDDY @FreddyAmazin When someone tells you a secret that you've lowkey been knowing but you have to act surprised 08:25 PM - 21 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. This awful pirate deceit. Mark Magark @markedly ME: Don't you see, the treasure is our friendship PIRATE: ...Aye ME: 😊 P: I cherish ya me matey but honestly ya misled me a tad didn't ya 11:21 PM - 18 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. This actual exposé. 13. These imaginary pups. Karen Kilgariff @KarenKilgariff FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian 05:20 PM - 24 Jul 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. This delayed truth. Nick Ross @NickBossRoss A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves. 05:40 AM - 01 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. This brutal self burn. Gus Van Santa Claus @mattytalks Ladies call me Subway because I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches 08:55 PM - 08 Jan 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. This vital lie to yourself. Kate Hall @KateWhineHall Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here. 12:50 AM - 05 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. This timely truth. Dakota @One_FineMess I don't understand why New Years Eve is such a big deal. I get drunk and tell myself lies all the time. Who needs a special day for that? 07:04 PM - 31 Dec 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. This miracle. Marf @MarfSalvador Park Ranger: *Looking at morbidly obese ducks* Was this you? Jesus: *trying to hide the rapidly multiplying bread loaves* No sir 11:57 PM - 14 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. This poor grasp on literature. David Hughes @david8hughes [sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] "Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye." 03:41 PM - 01 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. This honest compliment. Sandra @Sanbel11 -I can't stand liars and fakes -You are so pretty -See? Why can't everyone be honest like you 01:54 PM - 16 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. This universal denial. David @davidboomin People be surprised when I tell em I have a 4.0 GPA while working & maintaining an active social life, but anything is possible when you lie 04:33 AM - 18 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite