1.
Bring back my gorls
3.
Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
4.
*job interview* Wonka: Any questions? Oompa Loompa: So we just go out and start singing whenever a kid dies?
5.
"Julie, I've accidentally done a salmon again."
6.
"He eating my shit and you just going watching taking photos?"
7.
Avatar: The Last
8.
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man $300 - works out $200 - smart $400 - smells nice $70 - has a job $10 - is a mouse named stuart $5 - owns a red convertible $500 - over 6 feet tall
9.
Killer: any last words before I shoot Me: mmm watcha say
12.
I went out of town for a few days and came home to my dog who seems to want to have a word with me about it.
13.
“Hit it Fergie” ALLTHETIMEITURNAROUND BROTHERSGATHERROUND ALWAYSLOOKINGATMEUPANDDOWNLOOKINGATMY
14.
me whispering into my green tea after taking one sip: ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᶠᶦˣ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗᶦʳᵉ ˡᶦᶠᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍʳᵒˢˢ ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ... ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶦ ᵇᵉᵍ
15.
Same.
16.
[alphabet naming committee] okay what comes after O and P let's just do O and P again but give em dicks
17.
Not a fan of the new Harry Potter book
18.
It's been 16 years and I still can't believe how the fuck they managed to sneak Scooby Doo on a plane in this disguise https://t.co/CuLpiRA9N6