1.
Wow okay, so the Brummie accent realllllly isn't that bad.
2.
There are plenty of accents that would cause you this physical pain, but the beautiful tones of a Brummie would not.
3.
Honestly, if anything this is coming off as very jealous.
4.
Perhaps you're all just mad that it's the second city...
5.
Or maybe you can't handle the fact that we are home to the impeccable artiste known as Ozzy Osbourne.
6.
Of course the jealousy could also come from the fact that Birmingham has two of the country's oldest professional football teams.
7.
Or you could just be upset that you've never known true happiness and gone to the Balti Triangle.
8.
The truth is, everyone is hugely mistaken about the accent.
9.
It is actually the best accent in the world and is not at all, in any way, like a kick in the balls.
10.
And contrary to popular belief we all sleep great knowing we are Brummies.
11.
Everything about the accent is beautiful.
12.
In fact, it's been likened to the song of a thousand ethereal angels harmonising to Beyoncè's "Halo".
13.
And many have told tales of hearing the Brummie accent and experiencing a life changing epiphany.
14.
Legend has it that speaking with a Brummie accent has miraculously healed those that even doctors couldn't save.
15.
So please stop lying about the accent, this plate would at least have a shit load of stuffing on it.
16.
And for your sake I hope this is not true.
17.
At this point your jealousy is a little embarrassing.
18.
Basically, you can stop playing hard to get, we know you want this accent.