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    33 Tips For Having The Best Sex Of Your Life

    None of which involve unrealistic flexibility, doughnuts, or twisting your hands in opposite directions.

    It's not always easy to find good sex advice.

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    So we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their best sex tips that are actually helpful. Here's what they came up with:

    1. First of all, know that sex can be whatever the hell you want it to be.

    2. Be really fucking enthusiastic.

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    "Commit. I'm not saying do anything you don't want to do, but if you've both consented and agree on having sexy times, be 100% into what you are doing. Eye contact, think about your partner's body, what they like, verbalize your desires, give it your all. If you aren't into it or aren't actively participating, there will be a significant difference between that and being present in what you are doing."

    —Molly Jane Sisson, Facebook

    3. Don't think of sex as give-and-take. / Via

    "Don't use sex as a commodity to be traded and bartered (i.e. If you do the dishes, I'll suck your dick. Or if you suck my dick, I'll eat you out). Even if it's a one-night stand, sex is fun and sometimes enlightening. Even more so if you're in a relationship. Don't degrade the act by making it contingent on something else."


    4. Sex doesn't have to involve penetration — no matter what your sexual orientation.

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    "If you do not enjoy penetration for whatever reason, don't feel like you can't still have enjoyable sex and/or satisfy your partner! There are sooooo many other things you can do that don't involve any penetration and will still make everyone happy."


    5. Also, you're totally allowed to touch yourself — with your hand or a sex toy or whatever — during sex.

    "Simultaneous clitoral stimulation during penetration is great, so don't be shy and get out a vibrator thats designed for clitoral stimulation."


    6. Being super amped while going down on someone will make it so much better. / Via

    "Are you willingly performing oral sex on someone? Even if you don't enjoy doing it as much as the person receiving it (you feel neutral/bored), act like you do. It is much better to be on the receiving end when you're with someone who at least seems to be really into it."


    7. Take the orgasm off the table. If it happens, it happens.

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    "The best thing I was ever told was not to go in with some sort of goal, like that you have to come or it has to be penetrative. The only goal of sex should be to feel good, and have fun while you're at it!"


    8. Remember: You are actually the sexiest person alive.

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    "Make yourself think you're the sexiest being on the planet. Self-consciousness isn't just a turn off for your partner but also puts a mental strain on yourself. That's the best type of faking it tbh."


    9. If your partner has a clitoris, find it and make sure it gets ample attention.


    "The likelihood of a person with a vagina having an orgasm strictly from penetration is slim! And that's OK! Pleasure yourself during penetrative intercourse, utilize foreplay, something!" —Corinne Elizabeth, Facebook

    10. If your partner has testicles, you probably want to pay some attention to those, too.

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    "Do not neglect the balls during a blowjob." —Chad Jordan, Facebook

    11. Don't default to the same three moves. Just be present and tweak your technique accordingly.

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    "Get to know each other's quirks (like that right spot on his neck or that one tongue move that drives her crazy) before jumping straight to the inside. It makes for a more intense experience physically and especially psychologically when things do finally reach their climax, so to speak."


    12. Actually ask what your partner likes and wants, then deliver (if you're cool with it).

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    "Don't be selfish. Think about the other person's needs and wants and take your time. It'll be way more fun and enjoyable if you're not just thinking about yourself the whole time."


    13. Awkward noises happen. Carry on.

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    "The first time you queef in front of your partner is the worst of it, and if you just keep going instead of letting it completely stop everything you will feel so much better than if you let yourself feel embarrassed or ashamed. On the flip side of that: If your partner makes a noise, or otherwise does something they find embarrassing, it is almost always better to just ignore it, move on, and keep going."


    14. Don't put so much pressure on virginity, because what does that even mean anyway?

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    "Only you can decide whether you are a virgin or not."


    15. Spend some time learning how to give yourself an orgasm before you get naked with someone else.

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    "You'll know what it feels like and you'll be able to help your partner get you there if they're having trouble."


    16. Sloooww dooowwwn and spend a good amount of time on foreplay.

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    "Look at each other and don't just focus on the genitalia. Brush lips against shoulders and necks. Run fingers and hands up and down legs and arms. Say things to each other. Take your time. Moan, giggle, be in the moment. Do what makes you feel good and stop anything that makes you or your partner feel bad."

    —Katie Beyers, Facebook

    17. Definitely don't forget foreplay (and lube) before anal sex.

    Amarand Agasi / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: theamarand

    "Anal sex feels incredibly better after really, really long foreplay. You'll feel more relaxed, and your whole body will have had time to get into sex-mode. Also, wear condoms."


    18. If anal sex isn't the only item on the agenda, clean up before the next act. Don't go from anal to vaginal or oral without washing up and changing condoms.

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    "'Don't put it in the back then proceed to put it in the front.' My now-religious grandma told my mom one New Year's as she came stumbling in and now it got passed down to me; just like a wedding dress or a photo album, I shall pass it on the the next generation."


    19. If you have a vagina, pee shortly after sex.

    Alice Mongkongllite / Via

    "Ain't nobody got time for a UTI."


    20. Buy some lube, and actually use it. / Via Buzzfeed

    "Use lube! It not only helps lubricate you and your partner, it can make trying new positions or new toys easier and more comfortable. This can lead to you truly finding out what you like and don't like."


    21. When looking for anal sex toys, make sure it has a flared base.

    22. Write a sex to-do list. And a definitely-don't-do list and a maybe-possibly-try list.

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    "You should have three lists: do, try, DON'T! The DON'T! list is VERY important, even if there is only one thing on it. "

    —Amelia Davis, Facebook

    23. Make sure your privates are clean. Because, manners.

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    "Take a minute to make sure you don't have any toilet paper bits/fuzz down there. Make sure you have properly wiped and cleaned! No partner wants to be ready to lick your silly and find a surprise stuck to your ball hair!"


    24. And always wash your hands before touching your partner's naked body. / Via

    "Also wash your hands if you ate something spicy for dinner and have ~sexy~ plans for later."


    25. Laugh, joke, and be your weird self.

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    "Being comfortable to laugh and really have fun during sex makes it 10000x better."


    26. Make some noise when something feels good.

    "Be communicative. That way they feel more comfortable communicating and you both learn more quickly what the other person enjoys."


    27. And seriously stop faking it. / Via

    "If you tell them the truth they can learn what you do and don't like, and the whole experience will become a lot more pleasurable for the both of you."


    28. Actually talk about sex with the person you're having sex with.

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    "Not good at giving head? OK, tell them you really want to make them feel good but you're not sure of your technique and to feel free to give pointers. Something you did before that really got you off? Awesome! Tell your partner what it was and how you liked it. Get anxious and awkward? Tell your partner. It doesn't have to be a serious conversation, keep it light. Be open. Guaranteed it will produce a better sexual experience. Happy orgasms for all!"


    29. Just go ahead and ask about that random thing you really want to try. You never know — they might be into it, too.

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    "In a consensual sexual relationship there are no specifics you 'should' follow. Enjoy your and your partner's body…all of it. Do what you want to do. Anal? DO IT! Bondage? DO IT! Threesomes? DO IT!! Do whatever you and your partner want and don't judge yourself."


    30. Flavored condoms can be cool — but only for oral sex.

    Pederk / Getty Images / BuzzFeed / Via

    "If you use them for vaginal sex you could get a yeast infection (not sure about anal but don't use them for that either)."


    31. If you're in a position that's doing nothing for you, suggest switching things up.

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    "Just take control and switch or ask for something different. It doesn't have to be awkward or not as fun for your partner — chances are when you both are getting the same amount of pleasure the sex will be a million times more enjoyable! There's nothing worse than being stuck in a position you're not enjoying and pretending that you are."


    32. Don't ever forget that you and your body are worthy of respect and protection.

    33. Relax. Nobody really knows what they’re doing.

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    —Allison Selena, Facebook

    Make sure to follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter for your chance to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts!

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.