Corned beef hash.Tripe.Offal.Liver.Lumpy mashed potatoes.Lumpy mashed potatoesSemolina.Tapioca.Dodgy jacket potatoes.Burnt baked beans.Cold peas.Cauliflower cheese.Spam fritters.Turkey Twizzlers.Warm sausage rolls.Cold sausage rolls.Questionable hotdogs.Questionable hotdogs without the bun.Questionable sausages.Chicken nuggets.Arctic rolls.Rocket lollies.Cold pizza.Sweetcorn pizza.Chips.Crinkle cut chips.Curly chips.Potato wedges.Rank potato salad.Rank coleslaw.Rank salad.Questionable fruit salad.Questionable fruit.Fish fingers.Fish cakes.Chicken kievs.Gammon steak.Croquettes.Miscellaneous yoghurt.Shepherd’s pie.Cottage pie.Fish pie.Meat pie.Apple pie.Apple crumble.Spaghetti Bolognese.Miscellaneous pasta bake.Miscellaneous quiche.Miscellaneous curry.Miscellaneous curry with more potato than meat.Mushy peas.Fish and chips.Grated swede.Toad in the hole.Golden Drummers.Potato waffles.Potato smiley faces.Boiled potatoes.Jam tart.Wobbly jelly.Wobbly jelly with fruit in it.Non-wobbly jelly.Grey beef.Coronation chicken.A random pineapple ring.And finally, Spotted Dick.
How Bad Were Your School Dinners?
You lucky git. You barely ate terrible food at school. Either you lucked out and got packed lunch, or even luckier, you went to a school with good food. What’s your secret? How did you gain the universe’s favour so?
You had it alright at school. You may have eaten some bad stuff but only in small doses. If anything it gave you a greater appreciation of finer dining later in life. You’ve been known to order a posh semolina in a restaurant from time to time and a hot dog sandwich is your idea of comfort food. People like you. They’re jealous, but they like you.
Your school years had you on a conveyor belt of mince based misery. Day after day your poor stomach was subjected to “meat and two veg” body blows, but you eventually turned to take the rough with the smooth and to make the most of the rare occasions they got Angel Delight in.
You ate terrible school dinners. There is a very real possibility that you may have eaten pigeon or some other surprise “mystery meat”. The mere mention of semolina makes you shudder and that you manage to eat out in restaurants today is a testament to how forgiving you are as a human being. *Hugs* It gets better. You earned that fancy cheese you stock your fridge with.