20 Life Saving Tips For Anyone In A Long Distance Relationship
♪ I need you so much closer. ♪
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their best tips for surviving a long distance relationship. Here are their responses.
"I sent my husband a sapphire ring of mine that he would carry around everywhere, and he sent me t-shirts that smelled of him that I could wear at night so it was like I was getting a cuddle from him. There's something soothing about having something physical that they've touched in your hands."
Submitted by Danni Little
"Don't be afraid to send photos. It may seem egotistical, or you may be uncomfortable with selfies, but they do want to see your face and there is never enough of your face to see, so keep sending them those photos. It varies from person to person, but sharing an intimate moment, while awkward at first, can really help."
Submitted by Yukio Aqualine Kirk Owen
"We played video games every day, like Scrabble, Uno, or Battleship. It meant we could have fun together without necessarily being able to talk or see each other."
"There will be times when long distance sucks. Like really, really sucks. And the only person who can make you feel better is the one person you can't be with at that moment. It's OK to let yourself feel the emotions of those moments; cry, punch a pillow, write it down, whatever you need to do. But don't keep feelings in and don't feel like you need to keep those feelings from your SO, because they are the one person who completely understands what you're feeling. So let yourself be in that sucky moment and know that it will pass."
Submitted by sarar48bc9cb2f
"Have conversations constantly, about the big things and the little things. When you do see each other make a point to do mundane things as well as fun, like go grocery shopping together. Keep life as "real" as you can. There are cool apps that allow you to watch Netflix shows in sync with each other (Doctor Who got us through a lot) and Skype is wonderful."
Submitted by Molly Jane Sisson
"Believe me, after three years of long distance I've come to realize that sometimes you have to go the extra mile. My girlfriend texts me 100 times more than I text her, I visit her 10 times more often than she visits me, she makes the effort to call me or write me way more than I do for her. But we don't keep score. We each do what we are able to make this work."
Submitted by StevenH92
"Don't play the power games to try and see who cares less/more, or who hurts less/more. But most importantly, I think, learn to live without each other and appreciate how much lovelier you feel with them in your life. Learn that you don't need each other. You want each other. That's the real glue."
Submitted by besotteddottie
"There will be people who are skeptical and that's fine, just make sure that you don't let this affect the both of you who are actually in the relationship. As long as you respect and trust each other and you know how to make the relationship work best for both of you, who cares what other people say. It's all about you and your SO, not them, anyway. :)"
Submitted by Denise Ailen F. Jacela
"Make sure that you always say good night and good morning, even if it's just a text with a sun because you're hungover. Also, having a scheduled time to talk helps us since I have a crazy busy schedule."
Submitted by Azure Arnot
"We wrote letters to each other a lot and sent care packages which gave us something to look forward to. Counting down the days until you get to see each other also really helps — even if the number is scarily big!"
Submitted by Megan Amirghiasvand
"You need to seriously trust this person: Scrutinizing everything and constantly questioning them only makes things worse, we both learned that quickly. Your sex life will take a huge toll, so you need to get creative."
Submitted by Alisha Cogdell
"My parents met on a Greek ferry and they are from two different countries. They wrote love letters back and forth to each other (by post) for a year without seeing each other and met up and married. And 20 years later, they are still just as in love. They are proof that distance only makes the heart grow fonder. Oh P.S. they still have the letters. ♥"
Submitted by Aleisha Gould
"My husband and I spent a year and a half apart before marriage, and then another ten months after. For my own sanity it was important that I didn't give up on doing my own things, always wanting him to be with me. And by living my own adventures I always had stories to tell and to confide in him. That independence brought us closer together."
Submitted by Emma Persaud
"I've been in a long distance relationship for nearly three and a half years. I tell people that I treat it much like an actual break up: relying on friends, focusing on school/work/hobbies, and keeping myself busy helps soothe the loneliness. As for the actual relationship, my biggest tip is TRUST and PATIENCE."
Submitted by Brianna Leonard