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Only An Introvert Could Medal In These Events

If these weird behaviors were part of the Olympic Games, we'd bring home the gold.

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100-Hour Response Delay

It's not that you don't like others. It's that you don't want to see them.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

It's not that you don't like others. It's that you don't want to see them.

50M Horizon Gaze

What's that over there? Any object you can stare at purposefully — nay, soulfully — to avoid eye contact with the person headed directly toward you. Full concentration required. No blinking.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

What's that over there? Any object you can stare at purposefully — nay, soulfully — to avoid eye contact with the person headed directly toward you. Full concentration required. No blinking.

Passive-Aggressive Texting

Victory = when the Other Person starts to bail first.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

Victory = when the Other Person starts to bail first.

400 Reasons Invitation Hurdling

After-work drinks? No, you have a family member in town. Or an engagement party. Or the Apocalypse.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

After-work drinks? No, you have a family member in town. Or an engagement party. Or the Apocalypse.

Uneven Feelings Management Routine

Your attitude towards spending time with others involves fluid swinging between MUST BE ALONE and MUST INTERACT NOW OR WILL DIE ALONE.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

Your attitude towards spending time with others involves fluid swinging between MUST BE ALONE and MUST INTERACT NOW OR WILL DIE ALONE.

All-Around Excuse Making

Can you hang out this weekend? In the words of Phoebe Buffay, "I wish I could, but I don't want to."
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

Can you hang out this weekend? In the words of Phoebe Buffay, "I wish I could, but I don't want to."

Greco-Roman Wrestling

...with your desire to be an available, social human but also to be quietly nestled in the sanctuary of your own home.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

...with your desire to be an available, social human but also to be quietly nestled in the sanctuary of your own home.

Synchronized Ducking

...into another aisle at the grocery store when you see someone you know.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

...into another aisle at the grocery store when you see someone you know.

Individual Medley in Small Talk Avoidance

Hitting up the buffet table, pretending to listen to an important voicemail, going to the bathroom to check your hair — your tactics are varied and dazzling. Deployed in response to "Big plans for the weekend?"
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

Hitting up the buffet table, pretending to listen to an important voicemail, going to the bathroom to check your hair — your tactics are varied and dazzling. Deployed in response to "Big plans for the weekend?"

Mixed Doubles, Friendship Edition

Your secret weapon: some of your closest companions are extroverts. When you're not hiding from them, you actually understand each others' needs and offer complementary strengths.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

Your secret weapon: some of your closest companions are extroverts. When you're not hiding from them, you actually understand each others' needs and offer complementary strengths.

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