1. The ability to let go of secrets.
"C'mere, lemme tell you something: I'm not a Beyónce fan."
2. The ability to get loud and become the center of attention.
You're basically the coolest person in the room, so of course everyone flocks to you.
3. The ability to lift up someone that weighs more than you.
Best of all, you won't feel that herniated disk until the next day!
4. The ability to fall down and not get hurt.
"Whoops! No, I'm good. More drinks!"
5. The ability to eat something something highly caloric and kind of gross.
"Bacon-wrapped sausage burgers? Can I get two, please?"
6. The ability to consume more alcohol than you set out to consume.
"Taste this. Does it even have alcohol in it? I can't taste anymore lolololol."
7. The ability to make a new best friend.
Sure, you just met in the bathroom, but it's like you've known them your entire life.
8. The ability to come up with million dollar ideas.
"Just imagine it: cup holders for your car, but instead of cups they hold kittens! I'm gonna be rich!"
9. The ability to let things roll off your back.
"Yeah, I spilled a beer all over my new jacket. Whatevs."
10. The ability to really connect with someone.
"Closer. No closer. ::whispers:: I like you."
11. The ability to walk up to anyone you're attracted to.
"You like fireworks? Cuz you're ::burp:: making my heart explode."
12. The ability to let your emotional guard down.
"I know I never say this but ::begins weeping:: I LOVE YOU, MAN!"
13. The ability to hold several conversations at once.
"And then Jake said... No, it was Dustin. Dustin over there said..."
14. The ability to dance like no one is watching.
"I got the moooOOOoooOOooves like Jagger!"
15. The ability to convince others to do shots with you.
"Everybody! Shots! Shots! Shots shots shots!"
16. The ability to become an AMAZING singer.
"This next song is one of my favorites. It's called, "The Thong Song," by Sisqó."
17. The ability to fall asleep anywhere.
"Let me just rest me head for a sec — ZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzZZzz."
18. The ability to become extremely generous.
It's no fun to drink alone, right? Plus, you instantly become the most popular person in the room.
19. The ability to produce drinks out of nowhere.
"How did I get this martini? I bought it?! When?"
20. The ability to take perfect pictures.
Double chins, closed eyes, blurry images, they all look good when you're tipsy.
21. The ability to engage in debate about topics you know nothing about.
"And another thing! Climate change is real and... is... uh, cold? Ugh. I need another margarita."
22. The ability to remember your ex's number from three years ago.
There's nothing more romantic (and a better idea) than texting someone you haven't spoken to in a long time at 3:00 a.m.
23. The ability to pee in public without shame.
Anywhere. ANYWHERE.
24. The ability to meet multiple loves of your life in one night.
Yes, you met the one! And the other "the one." That's why the next day you have multiple new contacts in your phone labeled as "Hot guy from bar."
25. The ability to time travel... to the future!
It's like it was just 10 p.m., and now it's 1 a.m.! How'd that happen?
26. The ability to tell it like it is.
Friends, family, strangers. No one is safe when the (drunk) truth darts start flying.
27. The ability to magically forget all of this the next day.
Well, until your friends tell you all about it.