40 Lies Teen Girls Told Themselves In The Early 2000s
Fact: Mixing a bunch of Bath & Body Works body sprays did NOT give you a lovely signature scent.
1. That you were oh-so-cool 'cause you purposely showed some whale tail at school.
You knew it wasn't cute.
2. That the hair scrunchie you wore to give you a messy bun looked like your real hair.
You weren't fooling anyone with that polyester hair, and half the time it wasn't even the color of your hair.
3. That you were passing off your fake Takashi Murakami Louis Vuitton bag as a real one.
Do you think your friends believed that your parents (or your "rich aunt") dropped $1,000 on a bag for you to take to school?
4. That there was no such thing as too much lip gloss.
Um, the limit did exist (see above). Also, it made your lips feel all dry and sticky.
5. Or that there was no such thing as too much mascara.
You knew it would end up being a clumpy mess, but kept adding more anyways.
6. That you were a badass for wearing Playboy Bunny jewelry.
Nope. Also, even by early-'00s standards, Playboy was pretty tame.
7. That Carrie was the best character on Sex and the City.
You knew she was self-involved and not a good friend. #TeamMiranda
8. That wearing these cotton gaucho pants...
9. ...with these platform flip-flops...
10. ...or these mesh slippers was a dressy look that you could wear anywhere.
Those gauchos were just glorified pajama bottoms, and neither of those shoes were dressy.
11. That chunky highlights looked great.
It also looked like you missed dying three-quarters of your hair.
12. That it was deep if you left super-emo lyrics on your AIM away status.
Usually the lyrics weren't deep and you were only leaving them for attention.
13. That super-low-rise jeans were the best.
They were pretty impractical. You spent half the time pulling them up and anytime you sat down you knew half your butt would be hanging out.
14. Or that jeans with no pockets looked way better.
They were super impractical; like, you had nowhere to put anything.
15. That Mango Sours Altoids were the greatest Altoids ever.
THEY SHREDDED AND BURNED THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH.
16. That green, teal, and purple ketchup were cool ideas.
It was ketchup and didn't need to be a different color! Also, it was very unappetizing to eat.
17. That small ponchos were a cute and easy look to pull off.
It looked like you were wearing the baby blanket that your nana knit you.
18. Or that you were pulling off wearing a dress over jeans.
Literally you only needed to wear the dress.
19. That wearing some body bling, like a flashy crystal tattoo, made you look like MONEY.
It was just trashy. Plus, half of them would fall off within the first hour.
20. That wearing short skirts and Uggs looked on point.
You were literally dressed for two different climates. All you got from wearing this look was sweaty feet.
21. That these platform sneakers were comfy.
They could be comfy, but you spent half the time worried you were going to fall over.
22. That nobody could see your clear bra straps.
They stuck out like a sore thumb.
23. That a tiny purse that rode up right under your armpit was the be-all of purses:
Those purses could barely fit your keys and a lipgloss. They were also pretty uncomfortable being right underneath your armpit (especially if you were wearing something without sleeves).
24. That wearing graphic tees with funny slogans or sexual innuendos written on them was LOL.
They were always a bit immature, even for teenage you.
25. That Justin Timberlake was a better singer than JC Chasez.
LBH, JC was the one with the best vocals.
26. That McSalad Shakers were a cool and easy way to eat a salad on the run.
It was a pain in the ass, like trying to eat a salad out of a Starbucks Frappuccino cup.
27. That the Dollz you created looked like you.
They barely looked human — Bratz doll at best.
28. That you could pull off rhinestoned bandanas.
Nobody could really pull it off, and you knew you looked a bit ridic.
29. That self-tanner gave you a natural glow.
You ended up looking orange and streaky.
30. That getting a little color from the tanning salon was good for you.
You knew that shit was NOT good for you!
31. That creating a fake Myspace or LiveJournal profile to stalk a crush or frenemy was something nobody did, and it was a dark secret you had to keep.
LOL, you knew EVERYBODY was doing it.
32. That bedazzled flip phones were the coolest.
Deep down you knew they looked gaudy. Plus, the rhinestones fell off fairly quickly.
33. That Abercrombie & Fitch was not that pricey and you didn't understand why your parents bitched at you for asking for stuff from there.
You knew it was pretty expensive (especially for clothes aimed at teens) and that's part of the reason why you wanted stuff from there. LOL, would you spend that much on something today (at least frivolously)?!
34. That these were worth wearing, even if they were uncomfortable AF.
Nope. All you did was have an itchy neck the entire time you wore them.
35. That having an X-rated email address was so risqué.
You knew it was just immature.
36. That Pepsi Blue was the best flavor.
It tasted like medicine.
37. That mirror selfies looked very cool and ~edgy~.
All it did was make it obvious you hadn't cleaned your mirror in a long time.
38. That texting or typing like this on AIM looked so cool.
It didn't! And it was way too much fucking work to do and was a headache to read.
39. That layering your body sprays gave you a beautiful and unique scent.
Unique? Sure. But usually you just smelled like an overly sweet mixture of a bunch of Bath & Body Works body sprays.
40. And finally, that velour tracksuits looked chic AF and could be worn almost everywhere.
They might have been comfortable, but really they were PJs that were more or less meant for you to be at home in.