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How Pretentious Are You?

"The only mashed potato I eat is truffle mashed potato."

Posted on
Jeff Schear / WireImage
  1. Check all that apply to you.

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    I prefer cold-drip coffee.
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    I relate to Sting a lot.
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    I consider myself privileged.
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    I have had a handlebar mustache.
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    I only eat grass-fed meat.
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    I only eat grass-fed butter.
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    Tap water? Ugh, gross.
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    I own a fixed-gear bike.
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    I use the Castilian lisp when pronouncing "Barcelona" and I am not Spanish.
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    I judge what people wear constantly.
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    I don't eat in food courts.
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    I will not eat at a restaurant that has a menu with pictures on it.
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    I went to private school.
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    I would send my kids to private school.
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    I think less of people that went to a public school.
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    I wear glasses even though I have 20/20 vision.
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    I often quote philosophers in conversation.
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    I often quote famous writers in conversation.
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    I carry a Moleskine.
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    I hate all popular music.
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    I hate hipsters.
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    I have a hyphenated last name.
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    I have been known to name-drop.
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    I am proud to not own a TV.
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    I am a member of a country club.
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    I live in a gated community.
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    I carry around a book that I will never read because I like the way it makes me look.
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    I smell wine before I drink it.
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    I use the comment section of online forums to ridicule others.
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    I correct grammar mid-conversation.
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    I roll my own cigarettes.
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    I have had/do have an "ironic" haircut.
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    I have had/do have "ironic" facial hair.
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    I have declared myself as a "left- or right-brain thinker."
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    I consider most sports barbaric.
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    I insist people take off their shoes before entering my house.
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    I insist people take off their shoes before entering my house and make them wear slippers that I supply.
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    I have eaten placenta.
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    I end questions with "perchance?"
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    I have a maid.
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    I would NEVER fly economy.
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    I consider myself a "social climber."
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    I'm not very partial to dogs.
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    I'm not very partial to cats.
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    I'm a right-wing thinker and I let everyone know.
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    I'm a left-wing thinker and I let everyone know.
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    I have a wine cellar.
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    I call rap "urban poetry."
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    I look down on people who use food stamps.
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    I speak Latin.
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    I wear khakis a lot.
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    I wear boat shoes a lot.
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    I wear a suit to all events.
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    I wear cowboy boots with a suit.
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    I take more than 10 different supplements a day.
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    I take more than 10 different supplements a day and I always tell people why.
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    I wear a hat indoors.
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    I wear a hat whilst driving.
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    I enjoy playing polo.
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    I have a holiday home and I tell people about it.
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    I have spent more than $10 on a pair of socks.
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    I have spent more than $40 on a plain white T-shirt.
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    I have a tattoo that I need to explain to people.
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    I only use pink rock salt in my food.
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    I do believe that money makes life better.
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    I don't see any issues with paying more than $10 for a box of tea.
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    I use almond milk.
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    I scoff at people that joke about the number 69.
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    I can't function without my Spirulina in the morning.
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    I read "Don Quixote" in Spanish.
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    I wear a lot of camouflage and I'm not in the armed forces.
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    I go to a weekly Bikram yoga class.
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    I enjoy discussing deconstructionism.
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    I read the "Game of Thrones" books before the TV show even started.
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    I believe that the book is always better than the adapted film.
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    I am a member of a yacht club.
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    I don't wear socks.
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    I often think I would be a better parent than someone else.
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    I read the newspaper on my iPad.
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    Ownership of a boat is about the status it brings, not sailing.
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    I had a gap year when I travelled through India/Nepal/Europe.
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    I own a watch worth more than $200.
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    I get a new model smartphone every six months.
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    I complain about things others don't seem to mind.
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    I don't use public transport.
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    I carry a vintage pocket watch.
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    I would never be caught not having an opinion on something.
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    I use the word crudités.
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    I compliment others on their choice of words mid-conversation.
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    I only have an interest in genealogy to gain membership in ancestral groups.
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    My parents are wealthy.
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    I assume that the better things in life are more expensive.
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    I only buy organic or local food.
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    I only buy organic or local food and I talk about it all the time.
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    I have a fake name on Facebook.
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    I point out when I think other people are being pretentious.
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    I would be quite happy to be called pretentious.
 
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