Ten Reasons Zooey Deschanel Is My Soulmate

Anyone that knows her, please pass this on.

1. Zooey was born on the 17th of January 1980. I was born on the 5th of March 1993. WE WERE BOTH BORN IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY.

And yes, we’re on a first name basis.

2. Zooey enjoys playing guitar. I ALSO ENJOY PLAYING GUITAR.

The music we could make together…

3. Zooey is good friends with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. MY MIDDLE NAME IS JOSEPH.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

4. In February 2012 Zooey hosted Saturday Night Live. I WATCH SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

I also watched that episode. TWICE.

5. In a 2011 interview Zooey admitted to doing her homework dressed as a princess. I ALSO HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO HOMEWORK.

FUCK I HATE FRANCO.

6. In the same interview she recalled that she talks to her mom every day. I FUCKING LIVE WITH MY MOM.

And i talk to her. Sometimes.

7. Zooey’s sister, Emma, is on the TV Show “Bones.” BONES COMPRISE MY SKELETAL STRUCTURE.

‘Dem genes.

8. Zooey is known for her trademark hair. I ALSO HAVE HAIR.

Trademark pending*

9. Zooey is divorced. SO ARE MY PARENTS.

Who names their band Death Cab For Cutie? Honestly.

10. And Finally: Please. Just…Please.

Politeness works sometimes. You can’t say it doesn’t.

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