go to content

The Best Basketball Jerseys At Pitchfork Music Festival

A lot of people wore basketball jerseys to Pitchfork Music Festival. So we made a team.

Posted on

This past weekend, Chicago's Near West Side played host to the Pitchfork Music Festival. Curated by music publication Pitchfork, 2015 marked the fest's 10th year.

Parquet Courts

Attracting nearly 20,000 concert-goers during each of its three days, the festival featured over 40 acts, predominantly of the indie-rock, hip-hop and electronic ilk. Newly reunited rock band Sleater-Kinney, Chicago-based hip-hop artist Chance the Rapper, and rap duo Run the Jewels were just a few of the many acts to perform standout sets.

With temps in the high 80s and 90s throughout the weekend, more than a few people in the crowd wore basketball jerseys to combat the heat. So, we did the obvious thing and decided to create an entire team.

The Pitchfork crowd attempts not to succumb to heat stroke.

12 players. 4 alternates. We're going for gold.

Starting Center – Shaquille O'Neal

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

There weren't a lot of big men represented at Pitchfork. Luckily, we ran into Shaq (who guided Dream Team II to gold in the 1996 Olympics) on the third day of the festival. Orlando Magic Shaq was the most fun Shaq.

Starting Shooting Guard – Michael Jordan

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

There were a TON of MJ's walking around Pitchfork which, duh, what else do you expect in Chicago? Union Park is only a few blocks west of the United Center, where a bronze Jordan statue is still revered as one of the city's most beloved landmarks.

Starting Point Guard – Russell Westbrook

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

This was the first Pitchfork I attended that I didn't see a Jason Kidd or a John Stockton, so Westbrook gets the nod. I DID see an Allen Iverson, although he was too fast for me to chase down to get a photo. Typical.

Starting Small Forward – Dominique Wilkins

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

The fact that this was a Dream Team jersey made his election to the starting lineup all the more obvious.

Starting Power Forward – Kevin Durant

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

This Kevin Durant didn't believe me when I told him why I wanted to take a picture of his jersey. Stop being such a doubter, KD.

Shooting Guard – Kobe Bryant

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

Fun fact: Sunday night headliner Chance the Rapper has a lyric in his song "Juice" that goes "And you love being Kobe when you make the lay up / Till you realize everybody in the world fuckin hates the Lakers." He punctuated this lyric during his live performance of the song with a very spirited "FUCK KOBE!" The Chicago crowd loved it.

Point Guard – Gary Payton

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

Could you make the argument for Gary Payton over Russell Westbrook in the starting five? Yes, definitely. But what is a Dream Team without controversy?

Power Forward/Center – Kevin Garnett

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

I miss these old T'Wolves jerseys. I was kind of sad that KG didn't have a T'Wolves Starbury jersey standing next to him.

Point Guard – Mugsy Bogues

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

Mugsy has to be the only basketball player in history where the vast majority of fans wearing his jersey are actually taller than he is.

Small Forward – Jabari Parker

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

If the original Dream Team can take Christian Laettner directly out of college, I'm taking Jabari fresh off of his rookie year. The kid has potential, and I believe he'll bounce back from his injury with a renewed sense of determination.

Alternate Small Forward – Bill Murray

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

Though his minutes for the Tunes Squad were limited, Murray came up big against the Monstars when it mattered most.

Cut – Jesus Shuttlesworth

Bob Marshall / Via BuzzFeed

Jesus was just too up in his own head. (This is of course assuming Jesus Shuttlesworth and Ray Allen are two different players.)

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss