1.
I bet those pilgrims didnât shower before Thanksgiving dinner either.
2.
The best thing about Thanksgiving is that all the people you hate are finally all together in one room
3.
Thanksgiving is by far the best Holiday we have that centers around breadcrumbs in a dead turkeyâs asshole.
4.
Finally, a Thanksgiving without a drunken uncle. Just me, my nieces and nephews and my bottle of Jack Daniels.
5.
Can't make it home on Thanksgiving? Simulate the experience by passive aggressively asking yourself about your career and why you're single.
6.
Drake probably sent so many "Happy Thanksgiving" texts to exes today.
7.
If you ain't blasting Waka Flocka in your kitchen, your turkey gon be ratchet. #YouSayNotoRatchetTurkeyJuicyJCant
8.
This Thanksgiving for the first time ever, your drunk uncle will seem quite âpresidential.â
9.
Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
10.
Stay in shape this Thanksgiving by running away every time you see someone you went to high school with.
11.
(Thanksgiving Dinner) "This turkey is so good" Uncle: "......you know what's not good?" "Pls don't.." Uncle: "THE GOD DAMN LIBERALS"
12.
My mother asked what I was going to make this year for Thanksgiving and I said, "a scene."
13.
Interpret this however you'd like, but Thanksgiving dinner is, by far, the healthiest meal I eat all year.
14.
The hardest part about Thanksgiving is convincing the family I only eat like this on holidays
15.
I don't start my holiday shopping until after Thanksgiving when I find out which family members I am still on good terms with.
16.
No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.
17.
Really looking forward to Thanksgiving so we can all yell at each with our mouths full. Quality time. It's so important.
18.
[reaches into oven on thanksgiving] Here comes the bird! {pulls out middle finger] DIG IN ASSHOLES
19.
#Thanksgiving is an American holiday where the entire family comes together to shit in one guest toilet.
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