I Rewatched "Crazy, Stupid, Love" And Realised Everybody Is Terrible, Just FYI
Great movie, terrible characters.
So you probably know about the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love. It stars Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling and yeah, it's an alright movie I guess.
Except when you start to look a little closer, you realise that literally almost every character in the movie is absolute trash.
So let's dive straight in and start with Ryan Gosling, or Jacob. Jacob is literally the worst. Hot AF, but such an asshole.
For one, he literally tells Emma Stone (who plays Hannah) that he's been staring at her for two hours. He seems to think this gives him the luxury of taking Hannah home to bang, even though it's just kinda creepy.
And when Hannah straight-up says she doesn't find him attractive, he doesn't believe her and refuses to take no for an answer.
His pulling techniques in general are just terrible. He actually looks at a girl and says, "Hey, fancy face, you wanna go?"
But aside from being actual trash to women, he's pretty awful to men too. Like when he takes Cal's trainers and throws them off the top of a multistorey shopping centre.
He also keeps slapping Cal as a term of endearment.
Talking of Cal, he's not much better tbqhwy. One of the first things he does is throw himself out of a moving car because his wife asks for a divorce, which... Well, it's a bit much.
When he sees Jacob for the first time surrounded by women, he just assumes he's gay because of course.
And after he's done his handiwork, Cal basically just turns into an older version of douchebag Jacob, which we've already established isn't great.
Cal's son Robbie might only be 13, but that doesn't exclude him from being trash too. When his babysitter catches him masturbating, he tells her that he has a picture of her and looks at it the whole time, which is just awkward for everybody involved.
He then continuously tells Jessica throughout the movie that he's in love with her despite the fact she tells him it makes her uncomfortable.
He literally says the words "I'm not gonna stop sending Jessica text messages that make her feel uncomfortable" – because that is obviously the way to win a girl's heart.
And when he doesn't get his way, he just gets mad.
But before you start shouting that this is just me being a man-hater, let's take a look at the women. Jessica is...well, she's just seriously problematic.
She actually takes naked pictures for Cal even though she is 17 years old, which is counted as child pornography in many places around the world.
And at the very end of the movie, the most problematic thing happens when she gives the naked photos to Robbie as a "graduating middle school" present. Robbie is 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, so those are the main culprits but there are a couple more. There's Emily, who asks for a divorce from Cal after sleeping with someone else, which is just pretty shitty.
There's the person she cheated on Cal with, David Lindhagen, who slept with someone he knew was married and then proceeded to make her feel uncomfortable in the workplace.
Hannah's boyfriend literally sets up the expectation that he's going to propose when really he's just going to offer her a job, which is kind of insulting.
And then there's Madison, a girl at school who encourages Jessica to take naked pictures and send them to Cal even though it's technically child pornography.
Hannah's only fault is that she dates Jacob even though he's an asshole. And she kind of doesn't break up with her boyfriend properly before going to bang him but whatever.
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OK, so I've had my rant (and feel so much better for it), now it's your turn to decide: Who's actually the worst?
vote votesHannah's boyfriend