1. “You bull’s pizzle”
Meaning: This one is kind of self explanatory – "Pizzle" translates to penis, so this is essentially "You bull's penis." Rolls right of the tongue!
From Henry IV Part One
2. “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
This little jibe can be used when you want to describe someone who is in a bad mood.
From Coriolanus
3. "I am sick when I do look on thee."
This quite simply means the sight of a person who makes you feel sick. What a beautiful way to tell someone they're ugly AF.
From A Midsummer Night's Dream
4. “I do desire that we may be better strangers.”
This low-key shady insult basically means "I never want to see you again."
From As You Like It
5. “You whoreson cullionly barber-monger!”
Meaning: "Whoreson" is an illegitimate child, "Cullionly" is a wicked or dishonest person, and a "barber-monger" is someone who is vain and cares far too much for their own appearance. Old Will really went in!
From King Lear
6. "The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril."
Shakey is going in on how bad this person smells – they must really pong!
From The Merry Wives of Windsor
7. "Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows"
Meaning: Sodden-witted translates as heavy or dull. What Shakespeare is not-so-subtly saying here is that the person is not very intelligent.
From Troilus and Cressida
8. "Thou cream-faced loon!"
Cream-faced is referring to the person's white complexion and the fact they look scared.
From Macbeth
9. “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
Meaning: Your conversation is terrible and I don't want to listen to you anymore.
From Coriolanus
10. “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
This one is pretty straight forward. Use this when someone you know is being super fake.
From Othello
11. “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat”
Meaning: In Shakespeare's time luxurious had a different meaning, and was associated with lechery and adultery. And mountain goat, is well, a mountain goat.
From Henry V
12. “Where got’st thou that goose look?”
Meaning: Goose look refers to looking scared or stupid.
From Macbeth
13. "Thou art unfit for any place but hell."
This scathing burn is pretty straight forward and very cutting. Shakespeare didn't hold back.
From Richard III
14. "Villain, I have done thy mother."
This right here ladies and gents is the original "Your mum" joke. Shakespeare really was ahead of his time.
From Titus Andronicus
16. “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.”
Another fairly simple insult but as always Shakespeare is as poetic with his disses as he is scornful.
From Richard III