1.
“I don’t want to see any of you out there, I run my toe up the crack of yer ass” #janeygodleyvoiceover #nicolasturgeon #COVIDー19
2.
“we all need to do our bit”
3.
our first Zoom meeting is going great
4.
Paddington doing a great job of social distancing.
5.
6.
positively phenomenal use of the BBC News theme tune. Little does she know this is actually how we make the news
7.
I'm coming out of my cage That's a £30 fine
8.
Prince William after hearing Prince Charles has got the covid
9.
When this is all over I’m going to drink champagne, fall in love, and head straight to Clarks to get my feet measured in that weird machine
10.
Close, but no cigar.
11.
Gutted that ITV are cancelling Loose Women. They didn’t get to hear my ideas for their new theme tune.
12.
If you want an indication of how much of a hellscape this is going to be, last night a mate told our friendship group he couldn’t do a virtual dinner on Friday because he had “other digital commitments.”
13.
5yo: "when I have lunch at school, there is always a dessert. I want to check that you know that."
14.
I hate lockdown, can’t even attend my mums graduation. She’s being awarded BSc (Hons) in COVID-19 from the University of Whatsapp
15.
“What are you up to today?”
16.
"I'm going out" • boring • obvious • might be illegal now? "I'm going outside for my state approved singular daily walk" • Mysterious • Kinda Soviet • Good for public health
17.
So this is my life now
18.
2019: Netflix and chill 2020: Government coronavirus press conference and cry
19.
my entire Instagram has pivoted to people posting pics of solitary walks, baking bread, and stews they are making and honestly I just want to warmly welcome you all to lesbian culture
20.
I want the confidence of WHSmith declaring itself an “essential retailer”
21.
God designing 2020
22.
You won, Corona. Enjoy the lockdown, I hope it makes you very happy. Good lord, what a sad little life.