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1. A fart dictionary that details all the different types of flatulence they might encounter in their day-to-day. They'll have a ~toot~ spotting different offenses.
2. A pack of wine condoms to keep your friends safe from spilled wine.
3. A sleep mask rude enough to finally get them some shut-eye.
4. A pack of penis lipsticks in so many shades, you won't even feel like a dick if you save one for yourself.
5. A sun-powered gnome with a glowing moon.
6. A boob-shaped paperweight to give to your ~breast~ friend.
7. A coloring book dedicated to something all cat owners see a lot of: exposed feline butt holes.
8. Or a coloring book inspired by a bunch of tooting creatures.
9. A profane spin on the baby on board sticker, because babies can't ready anyway.
10. A roll of middle finger washi tape perfect for wrapping up a gift for someone they're not found of.
11. A pack of angry cards they can put under windshield wipers whenever they see a bad parking job.
12. A tea infuser that takes "teabagging" to a new literal level that no one was really ready for.
13. A book filled with various sex positions they can try each day — just don't let them open this in front of grandma.
14. Anus soap they'll love, no ~butts~ about it.
15. A card game based on a phrase most fans of The Office know very well: "That's What She Said."
16. A p(r)etty mug with an important message.
17. A mousepad with a pokeable corgi butt wrist rest that's not weird at all. Nope.
18. Granny PottyMouth’s Fast as F*ck Cookbook — for the foul-mouthed chef thinks cursing at the food makes it taste better.
19. A Pooping Pooches wall calendar that'll be a pawsome gift for anyone who poo-poos using digital calendars.
20. A bag of reindeer farts, which taste suspiciously like peppermint cotton candy.
21. A cookbook filled with punishingly delicious bacon recipes.
22. Jizz — a competitive game everyone will be ~pumped~ to play.
23. A sassy pair of socks that, if the boots are made for walking, are made for talking (shit).
24. A toilet keychain with a liftable lid so they can get some practice in and maybe stop leaving the actual toilet lid up.
25. A blank recipe journal they can fill with all the tasty shit their mom has made over the years.
26. An "unt" mug with a conveniently located handle.
27. A notepad with various prompts to fill out when they're too flabbergasted to say anything other than "WTF!"
28. And a reindeer mankini that will make their cheeks as red as Rudolph's nose.
Not enough for you? Check out even more crude gifts.
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