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1. An under-the-desk elliptical or bike pedaler so you can work on your New Year's resolution and get work done at the same time.
2. A mushroom coffee said to help with mental clarity and caffeinate without the jitters, so 2019 can be more wakeful but not shake-full.
3. A desk calendar filled with cute comics by Liz Climo sure to perk you right up each morning, because you deserve something nice before you turn on the news.
4. An easy-to-use tooth whitening pen your teeth will really take a shine to.
5. A roll-on headache reliever with It-Girl ingredient CBD in it, so you know it's gotta do something. Trust me, you're gonna need it if 2019 is anything like 2018... or 2017... or 2016.
6. A cookbook that teaches you how to not use cookbooks. We're going off-road, culinarily speaking.
7. A windshield cover so you can spend less time hacking the frost off your car and more time singing to the radio on your way to work.
8. A cutie-pie mini straightener you can bring everywhere for little fixes throughout the day. Your impulse bangs are gonna look so good. No hair regrets in the year 2019!
9. A pretty as heck planner so cute, you'll have no choice but to use it and get organized. No! Choice!
10. A set of itty-bitty mini tools to grace your equally tiny kitchen. Look at these powerful cuties! Think of the edible masterpieces you'll create together. I'm shedding a tear thinking of the bite-sized cupcakes and handheld calzones you can enjoy in the new year.
11. A portable razor great for people who like to shave because now they can do it anywhere they damn well please.
12. A pair of blue light-blocking glasses to prevent that feeling like your eyeballs are going to roll out of your dang head if you stare at your screen any longer.
13. A purple shampoo that will neutralize yellow tones left from pigment residue after bleaching or lightening and leave you with a coveted icy blonde look.
14. A pair of fan light pull cords so you can finally know which turns on the fan and which turns on the light. What an ~illuminating~ product!
15. A pack of peppermint and tea tree oil wipes to help you stay fresh in between showers. Now you can hit the gym during your lunch break without hitting your coworkers with post-workout smells.
16. A set of inexpensive microfiber sheets that feel just as silky soft as much more expensive brands. So you and your wallet can get a good night's sleep.
17. Or honestly, screw it: A set of expensive but ~Totally Worth It~ sheets that are 1. as soft as angels, probably and 2. sporting some snaps so the duvet and top sheet are always connected. You can be snuggly and then get up and make your bed in two friggin' seconds. **~~WOWWO~~**
18. A magnetic, dry eraser calendar so you and the fam can be on the same page and no one can claim ignorance when they miss game night. This year you're going to crush your relatives in Monopoly and everyone needs to be present for it.
19. A pack of divider sticky notes great for jotting down notes and ideas about each chapter. A+ semester here you come.
20. A subscription service that mails you beautiful and minty-flavored vitamins. The packaging is wonderful and you'll probably feel wonderful knowing you're taking care of your body.
21. A pack of Bubba's Ungranola for a breakfast that leaves you feeling full and happy, without feeling bloated or sleepy.
22. A pet-brushing glove so you can secretly groom your (overly) furry friend while petting them. There will be no tumbleweeds of fur in your future.
23. A pair of fluffy microfiber towels that completely obliterate any trace of makeup so you can wash up and get to bed faster than ever.
24. A Ron Swanson magnet so you and your roommate will actually know if those dishes are clean or dirty. Such a small gadget with huge effects.
25. A pack of Bottle Bright tablets that clean out gross and grimy water bottles so you can finally use them again. Reclaim your old Nalgene with the least amount of work possible.
26. A hair treatment ready to spin your hay-like follicles into gold so you can give a healthy, dramatic hair flip on your way out of 2018.
27. A pack of freshness bags that extend the life of your produce, so you can actually have a shot at finishing all those veggies you optimistically bought.
28. A handheld Dirt Devil vacuum with a lightweight design and powerful motor so you can finally take on all the crumbs hiding under your couch cushions.
29. Or a robot vacuum cleaner that will just do all the work for you. This is 2019 and it's time we all live like the Jetsons.
30. A pair of super popular shoe inserts so you can stand up for what you deserve — feet that don't hurt after a long day of standing and taking people's shit.
31. A teabag organizer that can fit up to 100 bags so you don't have to worry about a cardboard box avalanche every time you open your cabinet.
32. A shower caddy with bendy arms that can be shaped to fit your needs.
33. A pack of reusable straws so you can stop worrying about turtles getting plastic straws up their noses. There are simply just too many other things to worry about.
34. A monstera to bring life into your stuffy home. 2019 is the year you keep a plant alive. I believe in you!
35. A hanging closet organizer so you can finally have a place for all (OK, some) of your bags.
36. A glitzy bracelet flask sure to be your go-to companion for every event that has the audacity to charge $10+ for a single drink. Being on a budget has never looked so glamorous.
37. A expandable, cabinet-lining, two-tier shelf that will make every bottle you own visible and easily accessible.
38. A tiny brick and mortar set so you can build yourself a cubicle and get some privacy in your open-plan office.
39. A one-line-a-day journal that'll help you finally start recording your life in the easiest and quickest way possible.
40. A colored pencil organizer so you can be properly equipped to stress-color your feelings out, no matter what fresh hell 2019 brings.
41. And finally, a subscription to Winc, a company that will mail wine straight to your door. Because folks, we're all gonna need it.
Ringing in 2019 like:
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