1. You could buy Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland for £900,000...
And live like a fucking king with a ballroom, a minstrel's gallery, and 40 BEDROOMS.
Or you could buy this flat in central London for £949,950:
Survey your kingdom – comprising some Ikea furniture, an office chair, and a leather sofa – from the comfort of your bed!
2. You could buy Knockbrex Castle in Dumfries and Galloway for £1,300,000...
There is a games room reached by a "magical stone staircase" FFS.
But perhaps this two-bedroom flat in Bloomsbury, London, for £1,400,000 is more to your liking?
It's a blank canvas to make your mark on – and won't you look at all those plug sockets? You could whizz up a smoothie and blow-dry your hair at the same time. Convenient livin' in the cit-ay!
3. You could buy Orchil Castle in Perthshire for £1,475,000...
And live like a fricking queen.
Or maybe you'd prefer this cosy one-bedroom flat in Mayfair, London for £1,485,000?
Parquet + pelmets = the good life.
4. You could buy this stunning castle on the Solway Coast for £2,000,000...
It's got 17 bedrooms and a stable to accommodate two horses.
Or maybe you'd prefer this two-bedroom flat near Edgware Road, London, for a mere £2,100,000?
You'd need to leave your horses elsewhere.
5. You could buy Ethie Castle in Angus for £1,650,000...
It has four turnpike staircases, a balustraded tower, turrets, and crow-stepped gables!
But maybe you'd rather have a flat in this block that hasn't been built yet for £1,660,000?
You can already get a great feel for the lush road outside with plenty of attractive passing traffic.
6. You could buy Duchray Castle in Stirling for £1,750,000...
Which legit looks like something from a Disney fairy story, and comes with its own forest and tennis court.
But we get it, that's not to everyone's taste. Maybe you'd like this little flat in South Kensington for £1,800,000 instead?
You can't put a price on a paint job like that!
7. You could buy the Tower of Lethendy in Perthshire for £4,600,000...
It has 39 acres of magnificent grounds, a private golf course, a swimming pool, two tennis courts, and an orchard.
But who needs all that shit anyway? Why not keep things simple with a flat in this building in Mayfair for £4,750,000?
8. You could pose as royalty in Castle Gogar, Edinburgh, for £2,500,000.
How do six bathrooms, a sun room, stables, and paddocks sound?
If that doesn't sound cool at all, there's a flat going in this block in Hyde Park, London for £2,750,000!
It's got central heating, yay! And luvverly chintz curtains too.