America: You Can't Have A President Called Donald Fart
Hi America! We need to chat.
Maybe you’ve already heard this. Maybe you’ve got a British friend who’s mentioned it. BUT YOU CLEARLY HAVEN’T TAKEN IT ON BOARD.
We need to talk about what a “trump” is.
You've got a lot of trump stuff in your country. You've got Trump towers and Trump head gear:
A Trump Taj Mahal and fucking Trump bottled water:
You have a guy who genuinely could become the president, called Donald Trump.
Guys, in Britain a trump is a fart.
It’s a fart!
It’s gas, a toot, a poot, a stinker.
It’s a big, disgusting, feculent blast of foul-smelling methane emitted from someone’s rectum accompanied by a rapid vibration of their anal sphincters.
Trumps are funny at first. For, like, a few seconds.
But then they’re disgusting. They clear rooms. They repulse people.
You can't have a president called Donald Fart.
Well I mean, you can. But we'll laugh at you. Your call.
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