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Posted on Feb 3, 2014

Should You Move To Canada?

Sorry to say it, but wherever you live doesn't have anything on Canada. Again, really sorry.

  1. Do you enjoy real maple syrup?

    Flickr: chrism70 / Creative Commons

    Did you know that Canada has a global strategic maple syrup reserve?

    Well, they do! The reserve was established to ensure a steady and continuous supply in the event that something happens to maple trees. If you like maple syrup, you'll probably love Canada!
  1. Do you knowingly commit crimes on a regular basis?

    MattysFlicks / Flickr: 68397968@N07 / Creative Commons

    In Canada, police departments give out 'positive tickets' to thank people for doing good.

    The idea came from Ward Clapham, a 28-year retired veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He envisioned a world in which police officers rewarded the good in people, rather than just looking for the bad.

    erjkprunczyk / Flickr: 24842486@N07 / Creative Commons
  1. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza?

    Flickr: skibler / Creative Commons

    Canadians invented Hawaiian pizza!

    The first Hawaiian pizza was cooked in 1960 by Sam Panopoulos at the Family Circle Restaurant in Chatham, Ontario. If you've always yearned to be closer to the roots of Hawaiian pizza, Canada is the place for you.
  1. Do you think there should be harsh penalties for using relatively harmless drugs like alcohol and marijuana?

    Flickr: drome

    Random drug tests are illegal in Canada.

    The Supreme Court of Canada weighed the importance of workplace safety against the right to privacy, and in a 6-3 majority decided that random alcohol testing for employees in safety-sensitive positions was an invalid exercise of management rights, effectively outlawing random drug testing. If you like to get a little high now and then, move to Canada!

    Flickr: proimos
  1. Really though, going to a bar and grabbing a drink is always nice, right?


    Drinking is great, and George Street in St. John's has the most bars and pubs per square foot of any street in North America.

    Over 120,000 people visit the two block stretch of road in Newfoundland during an annual celebration called the George Street Festival. Move to Canada! Get drunk!

    Flickr: zachbonnell / Creative Commons
  1. Do you think dairy cows should be given dangerous growth hormones?

    Flickr: publicenergy / Creative Commons

    Canada doesn't allow growth hormones to be used on cows.

    In Canada, growth hormones used to stimulate milk production are not allowed for sale or permitted for use. To maximize milk production, farmers in Canada just make sure that their cows are healthy and well-nourished. If you like your dairy products to be better for you, head to Canada.

    Flickr: xiuxiu_sh Creative Commons
  1. Have you ever thought about how great being a Jedi would be?


    Jedi is an official, state-sanctioned church in Canada.

    It's true! Jedism is officially recognized as a nonprofit religious organization in Canada. There's no place on Earth where you can feel closer to The Force.

    Flickr: rageforst / Creative Commons
  1. Do you think Lay's should be more adventurous in their flavor choices?

    Flickr: smohundro

    Canada has Lay's flavors you've only ever dreamed about.

    Here are some flavors available in Canada: Ketchup, Dill Pickle, Fries n' Gravy, Roast Chicken, and Smokey Bacon.
  1. How do you feel about those chocolate Kinder Surprise eggs?

    Flickr: aarongustafson / Creative Commons

    Kinder Surprise eggs are legal in Canada!

    Maybe it's because Canadian babies are just smarter and less prone to choking on toys, or maybe it's because Canada is a magical place where food always comes with toys and other fun surprises inside. Either way, if you're looking for Kinder Surprise eggs, look no further than Canada.

    Flickr: qnguyen17
  1. Quick! Canada or New Jersey?


    84% of people would rather erase New Jersey off the map than Canada.

    Of course, there were still 76,791 people out there who would still eliminate Canada. But still, if you want to win the hearts and minds of your fellow man, move to Canada.
  1. Do you think it's better to be intelligent or unintelligent?

    Flickr: thomasleuthard / Creative Commons

    Canada is the most educated country in the world!

    According to NBC News, Canada is the most educated country in the world. 51% of the population has received tertiary education.

    Flickr: jwasson / Creative Commons
  1. How do you feel about rats?

    Flickr: necilbug / Creative Commons

    The province of Alberta is entirely rat free!

    Thanks to strict policies and efficient pest control, border patrol agents have managed to eliminate wild rats from the province of Alberta. The only place you can find them is in zoos. If you're sick of rats in your house, move to Alberta!
  1. How do you feel about hateful homophobes?

    Flickr: msun523 / Creative Commons

    Members of the Westboto Baptist Church are banned from Canada!

    The group is not allowed to enter Canada, because the government considers their sermons and protests hate speech.

    Flickr: jmsmith000 / Creative Commons
  1. When you do something wrong or act impolitely, what do you do?

    butupa / Flickr: 25792994@N04

    Canadians love to apologize!

    In fact, Canadians apologize so much, that in some areas, saying you're sorry is not a legal admission of guilt.
  1. What percentage of something do you prefer to be As?

    Canada is 50% As!

    You belong in Canada. Just move there already.

    Twitter: @stats_canada

Results: You should move to Canada!

You must be convinced by now. Look at how great Canada is! Did you even read all that awesome stuff up there? That's just the tip of the iceberg. (Canada also has icebergs.)

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