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BuzzFeed Staff

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<b>Surprisingly, upsettingly and unforgivingly NSFW.</b> Seriously, just don't click.

Surprisingly, upsettingly and unforgivingly NSFW. Seriously, just don't click.

Can We Guess What You’re Getting For Christmas?

If you’ve ever found yourself idly fantasizing about having sex with a mythical flying beast that’s half-wolf and half-dragon (and who hasn’t), you’re probably going to LOVE the "Fenrir the Wolfdragon” dildo you’re getting for Christmas. Enjoy!

The "Fenrir the Wolfdragon” dildo from Bad Dragon

Listen, sometimes it just feels like everything in your life is up in the air, especially around the holidays. The perfect thing to get through those long hectic days is a long, hectic night with the "Vergil the Drippy Dragon” dildo.

The "Vergil the Drippy Dragon” dildo from Bad Dragon

Not everybody is ready to jump into the deep end. If crazy dragon and wolf dildos feel a little too flashy for you, you’re probably going to be more comfortable with the “Ultimate Fantasy” dildo this Christmas. You’re such a traditionalist!

The "Ultimate Fantasy” dildo from Bad Dragon

You’re a mystery. You’re the brooding, private type, which doesn’t make you the easiest person in the world to shop for at times. That’s why you’ll probably end up with the "Swamp Wyrm” dildo under your Christmas tree this year. It’s got something for everyone.

The "Swamp Wyrm” dildo from Bad Dragon

You’re not someone who can easily be boxed in, just like a majestic cockatrice. That’s exactly why you’re going to wake up to find a "Crackers the Cockatrice” dildo stuffed into your stocking this Christmas morning. (You may need to buy yourself a bigger stocking.)

The "Crackers the Cockatrice” dildo from Bad Dragon

You NEVER settle for less, which is why you’re so far beyond normal, human-shaped genitals being stuffed into your orifices. No, you’re more of the slimy tentacle type, which is why you’re probably going to get the “Tentacle” dildo this Christmas.

The “Tentacle” dildo from Bad Dragon

Why have sex with one misshapen animal penis when you could have sex with TWO misshapen animal penises AT THE SAME TIME! It may be winter, but that won’t stop “Bruce the Shark" from swimming up to your sunny shores this Christmas. (Your "sunny shores” being your butt and/or vagina.)

The "Bruce the Shark” dildo from Bad Dragon

You’re tough to shop for! What do you get someone who has EVERYTHING? The "Unflared Stallion Packer” dildo, of course. The usable length on this bad boy is a full 10 inches, so it’ll definitely keep you busy. (Until next Christmas, at least.)

The "Unflared Stallion Packer” dildo from Bad Dragon

You’ve got a discerning penis. (I’m assuming. If not, apologies.) That’s why you’re looking for something a little different to bone down on this holiday season. If you’ve ever dreamed of simulated sex with a deer, look forward to getting a "Snowball the Deer” penetrable toy this Christmas.

The "Snowball the Deer” penetrable toy from Bad Dragon

If you’re anything like every other rational adult on the planet, you probably think about getting a blowjob from a dragon literally every day of your life. Well, your dreams are going to come true this Christmas when you unwrap your very own "Dragon Muzzle” penetrable toy.

The "Dragon Muzzle” penetrable toy from Bad Dragon

Listen, we’ve all been there on those cold, lonely nights. Keep warm this holiday season by burying yourself deep into the "Hazel the Werewolfess” penetrable toy that you’re almost definitely getting for Christmas this year.

The "Hazel the Werewolfess” penetrable toy from Bad Dragon

You live your life on the cutting edge, and you surround yourself with all the coolest and newest technology. That’s exactly why you’re getting the "Lil Seadragon” squirting dildo, complete with Bad Dragon “Cum Lube”!

The "Lil Seadragon” squirting dildo from Bad Dragon

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Can We Guess What You’re Getting For Christmas?

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