11 Reasons Platypuses Are Cool As Hell

    Made of nature's spare parts.

    Audrey Engvalson
    by Audrey Engvalson

    BuzzFeed Staff

    I hope you guys aren't wearing socks because I'm about to knock them right off.

    Starz

    Have you guys heard of the platypus? OK, yeah, duh, you probably have.

    Healesville Sanctuary

    Me too, brother. Me too.

    Did you know how gosh-darn, mother-flipping cool they are?!

    Disney

    However, not all of them double as a secret agent. Bummer, right?

    1. Platypuses are the best at blocking out the haters because they can literally CLOSE THEIR EARS.

    Shotbyrob / Getty Images

    The platypus has skin that comes over its eyes, ears, and nostrils that aid them in staying underwater. While they are land animals, they can stay under water for up to two minutes.

    2. For those of you who think turning your ears off isn't cool enough (you're wrong, by the way; but, whatever), platypuses hunt with ELECTRICITY. Bzz, bzz, amirite?

    Grafissimo / Getty Images

    Because the platypus seals off its sense of sight, smell, and sound, it's hard to imagine how they get food underwater. Platypuses have electroreception, meaning they can sense the muscle contractions of prey nearby. This allows them to hunt no matter how murky it is.

    3. They don't have a stomach. I KNOW what you're thinking: "What kind of bad-assery must they have to digest their food?"

    Getty

    Platypuses don't have a stomach. They're missing the genes responsible for the creation of stomach acid. They grind the food in their cheek pouches with sand and dirt. As food travels further into the platypus, it gets ground finer and eventually absorbed.

    4. If you said, "Electricity, schmelectricity. It's not like they're poisonious." WRONG-O. THEY ARE MOST DEFINITELY POISIONOUS. DON'T YOU GET BETWEEN A MALE PLATYPUS AND HIS LADY LOVE OR YOU WILL BE HURTIN' FOR CERTAIN.

    Getty

    Male platypuses have a poisonous spur on the back of their heel. Scientists have found that they use more venom during mating season which lead them to believe they use the venom to compete with mates. The venom may not be powerful enough to kill a human, but it would definitely be enough to ruin your day.

    5. Electricity? Meh. Poison? Meh. Stomachs? Meh. ALRIGHT FINE. How about the fact that the mama platypuses SECRETE MILK FROM THEIR SKIN. MAMA PLATYPUSES DON'T HAVE NIPPLES.

    Getty

    While the platypus is still considered a mammal, the mother doesn't have teats to nurse her young. Instead, "mammory patches" on the female's skin secrete the milk and the young suck it out of the mama's fur.

    6. OK, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Audrey, humans are cool because they have stomachs and nipples." That's your own opinion, but fine. However, wouldn't it be cooler if we had WATERPROOF FUR? PLATYPUSES DO.

    Getty

    The waterproof fur comes in handy because platypuses can spend up to two minutes underwater at a time.

    7. You think you're better than a platypus because you have teeth? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET. Platypuses make that duck bill work.

    Getty

    When they feed at the bottom of the water, they scoop up prey along with gravel and sand. When they reach to the surface, they use that gravel to help them break up their food. THAT'S SOME MACGYVER STUFF RIGHT THERE.

    8. Platypuses are one of five species LEFT ON EARTH that are mammals that also lay eggs. It's a bird! It's a reptile! NO. IT'S A PLATYPUS! *cue platypus flying in the air with a Superman cape*

    Getty

    Along with four species of echidna, platypuses are mammals that lay eggs. This is called being a monotreme (word of the day). Monotremes also have specialized snouts or beaks, and adult monotremes are sans teeth.

    9. I'm going to dial it back and get personal now. I feel a bit weird talking about this (kind of like I'm violating a platypus), but this is a very fun fact: Platypuses have just one hole *ahem* down there.

    Getty

    Called a cloaca, platypuses have a singular opening for the digestive, urinary, and reproductive tract.

    10. It's such a strange and ugly little creature, people thought it was fake.

    Getty

    Between the retractable webbing on their feet, their beaver-like tail, and their duck bill, British scientists that first received one after it's discovery thought it was a hoax and "parts of various animals had been adhered together". Tbh, I can see where they were confused.

    11. And finally, this is the least fun fact. Get ready. It's a doozy. The plural form is "platypuses" not "platypi".

    Getty

    I know. I'm just as disappointed as you are.