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Updated on Dec 22, 2018. Posted on Dec 10, 2018

I Just Learned An Incredibly Disturbing Fact About Gru From "Despicable Me"

It's all I can think about.

It's not often that I think about Despicable Me. Basically, the only time I do is when someone says "banana" like a Minion (which is far more often than I'd care for).

Universal Pictures

But I learned something today so crazy that I can't stop thinking about Despicable Me now.

Universal Pictures

With a very simple Google search, I learned today that Minions are an average of 3.5 feet tall. How I got to the point in my life where I needed to Google the height of a Minion is none of your business.

Google

That sounds about right to me. It's about the same height as a 5-year-old girl.

Universal Pictures / Getty

So, we've already accepted that the average Minion is 3'6", but brace yourself because...look at this movie poster.

Universal Pictures

Gru is nearly four Minions stacked making him almost...14 FEET TALL.

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I just have one thing to say...

Comedy Central

That makes him about five feet taller than the world's tallest man.

Universal Pictures

Now take a second to process this information because there's more.

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In this universe of literal giants, Gru isn't even the tallest character in the movies.

Universal Pictures

Lucy, his wife, is even taller than he is!!!

Universal Pictures

And the oldest kid comes up to his waist...so is she, like, seven feet?????

Universal Pictures

Here is the same picture, but with Lady Gaga (who's 5'1") for scale.

Universal Pictures

And this revelation also must mean that the counter he's standing at is seven feet tall, too.

Universal Pictures

Even the furniture is gigantic!!!!!!!

NBC

But, wait! There's more! You'll also notice that the youngest is about the size of a Minion, which MAKES SENSE.

Universal Pictures

I don't know what happens during the formative years in Gru-land, but the growth rate is astonishing.

Universal Pictures

I mean, I don't know the actual growth rate because I'm a writer, not a doctor or mathematician, but to get from 3.5 feet to 13-14 feet is incredible and scary.

Universal Pictures

In any case, any time you think you're hot snot, any time you think you're big and tough, or any time you think you can take on the world, just remember that Gru from Despicable Me can punt you like a football.

Universal Pictures

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