We asked parents in the BuzzFeed Community what they want their friends who don't have kids to know, and the responses were totally relatable and real:
1. "Don't judge my parenting decisions. There are many things I said I would NEVER do when I had kids that actually ended up saving my sanity."
2. "Babysitters don't appear out of thin air. I can't always get one on the fly, and my trust when it comes to my kids is limited."
3. "We still want to be invited to things, even if we can't go 99% of the time — it makes us feel like we're not forgotten about and that we're still part of the circle."
4. "Just because I have a child doesn't mean I've lost my cool points — they just happen to be in the back of my mom jeans these days."
5. "Please don't ever tell a parent not to complain. Raising kids is a blessing, but it's also hard. Really, really hard. And shaming parents for struggling just forces them to hide how they're really feeling — which is a recipe for burnout, breakdown, or worse."
6. "Yes, I have less time. Yes, I have less money. Yes, I can't always drop everything for my friends. But no, I don't want you out of my life. Just because I had a baby doesn't mean I love you any less."
7. "Don't worry about telling me your TMIs. I've used my purse as a puke bag for a child. Nothing shocks me anymore."
8. "If the movie you're talking about isn't a cartoon, about a superhero, or something with Jack Black in it, then no, I didn't see it."
9. "I WANT to go out. But I just don't have the energy most of the time. And when I do, 97% of the time I just want to be alone."
10. "Yes, you're tired, too. But maybe the new mom who hasn't slept more than two consecutive hours due to nighttime feedings isn't the best audience for your complaints."
11. "Not every parent will judge you if you say you're exhausted. Everybody gets tired. Maybe your reason is your pet, job, or social schedule. My reason is my kid."
12. "We actually like our kids and want to spend time with them."
13. "No matter how much you may love your pet, having a pet isn't the same thing as having a child. Please stop comparing the two."
14. "Nap time is sacred. If you invite me to do something during nap time, I won't be able to come. Because if I do, my kid will be an asshole at your event...or more likely after your event, when I have to deal with a rage-filled, overtired toddler at home."
15. "For the love of God, please don't insist we come to your house. We know you don't feel like driving, but you can get in and out of the car in under five minutes and it's extremely unlikely that anyone will poop or pee on themselves while you do."
16. "I don't invite you over anymore because my house is a constant disaster. It's not personal."
17. "Do not call or text after 8 P.M. Our children have aged us. We are asleep."
18. "If we do have a good old-fashioned girls night out, don't even think about calling it quits early! I've probably been psyching myself up for this night for a month, and had to make shady backroom deals to get my husband to let me sleep in the next day. So I want dinner, drinks, dancing, and MORE DRINKS!"
19. "When one of my friends becomes a parent, it immediately levels our friendship up."
20. "It hurts when my friends want to talk to me but take no interest in my baby. Not acknowledging someone's kid is like someone winning a Nobel prize and their friends not saying a word about it."
21. "Please understand that even though my child is older now and I have more freedom to go out than I used to, I am still a parent first."
22. "New parents can feel isolated, and need all the love and support they can get. Don't forget to check up on them and ask how they are doing every once in a while."
23. "And please don't stay longer than two hours. Unless you're here to clean."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.