Anyone who has — or had — a toddler knows that sometimes they cause you to have to say some very, very strange things.
Well, Reddit user landreasen asked parents to share the thing they've said to their toddler that made them think, 'I can't believe I'm saying this,' and yes, parenting toddlers is this hilariously weird:
1. "We don’t put stuff in our butt — it’s not a pocket."
2. "Wrapping your penis around drawer knobs is not how you open drawers."
3. "We were counting down the time on the microwave until her chicken nuggets were done. Well, our microwave goes, '3...2...1...END.' The worst tantrum today was that she wanted it to count down to zero but there is no zero. I had to explain, 'No, I can't make the microwave be zero, sweetie.'"
4. "Today I said, 'We do not shove chicken legs in our crotch.'"
5. "We have an almost daily conversation about how it's not nice to color the cat."
6. "No, you can't take the lettuce to bed with you."
"He was 4 at the time, and the head of lettuce was his new best friend."