We rounded up the funniest mom jokes that Twitter, Reddit, and Tumblr had to offer. Keep on scrolling for the most hilarious jokes that every mom can relate to.
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter feed will be even better!
1. I don't usually tell mom jokes. But when I do, she laughs.
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7. Where do mom jokes get stored? On a motherboard.
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9. How do you keep someone from stealing your bagel? Put lox on it!
10. My kid told me that she was very upset and crying at daycare and they made it all better by giving her food, and I have never felt closer to her.
11. My kids always beg to go to sleep 15 minutes before bedtime. What's my secret? That's when I make them do chores.
12. My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family.
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15. I’m just a mom, standing in my kid’s room, asking why there are fruit snacks on the ceiling.
16. Before having kids I expected to be sleep deprived for the first year, maybe two years tops. I was wrong. So so wrong.
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18. No one told me that having toddlers would make my house spot clean only.
19. My kid forgot her backpack this morning, as I was pulling away from school I hear her shout to a friend “my mom forgot my backpack” in case you were confused about who’s fault it was.
20. Pls pray for my son. He has an eye condition that makes it impossible for him to see when the kitchen bin is full & needs emptying.
21. I used to sneak out of my parents house to go drinking. Now I sneak out of my kids room to go sleep.
22. In a house with 1,000 bathrooms your kid will only be willing to use the one you’re in, there is nothing you can do to prevent this.
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24. Nothing makes kids hungrier than telling them it’s bedtime.
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31. I'm glad I bought my son a cute summer wardrobe so he could wear the same Super Mario t shirt for 23 days in a row.
32. The coolest thing about my kids not liking Life cereal is that they have no clue that box is where I've been putting the good chocolate.
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34. I really needed my epidural to last through the toddler years.
35. The hubs was being a turd so I gave my kids Nature Valley Granola Bars to eat in his car while they ran errands.
36. Having kids involved in sports is fun if you like coming home & making dinner at 10pm.
37. My 4yo is in complete shock after she found out her uncle is my brother.
38. Mom confession #482: Sometimes I go to the drive-thru with my kids just so I can park and eat a hot meal while they’re restrained.
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47. The money I save on diapers I now spend on my teen’s car insurance.
48. Before I was a parent I never knew assembling kids toys required so much adult language.
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50. Felt like wallowing in self pity today so I asked my 6 year old how old you had to be before you were considered old. She said 28.
51. That time my son brought home the award for sweetest camper and my heart swelled, but when I looked closer it said sweatiest. My son won the award for sweatiest camper.
52. Why is my son playing his recorder at 7am? I feel like this is my punishment for talking back to my mom.
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55. I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe."
56. How many pumps of soap is needed and could you tell my kid it’s not 79?
57. I asked my husband to hand me my birth control while he was up and he brought me one of our kids instead. Well played.
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59. Working from home full-time with kids home for the summer that are too young to have jobs, but too old to go to camp is some next level fuckery.
60. Overheard my husband telling our toddler, “I love you but don’t make me insane”, as if that hasn’t already happened.
61. Never seen a cage fight but one time I did buy only 1 Costco fountain drink for my 2 kids to share so I get the gist.
62. My daughter in the alcohol aisle of the grocery store: OH GREAT WE’RE BUYING MOM JUICE AGAIN.
63. Is it just a mom thing like I cringe at the thought of splurging on something for me but if its 4 baby or my hubs I'm all 4 it. anyone else?
64. Not to brag, but I found a way to take a shower. It involved 4 snacks, 2 tablets and 3 baby gates. But hey, I'm clean! *kid pukes on me*
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This article contains content from Asia McLain, Stan Shunpike, Krista Torres, and Remee Patel. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.