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    23 Things Guys Want You To Know That Are Totally Wrong About Them

    We have them all wrong, ladies.

    A viral Reddit thread asked guys to share the infuriating myths about them that are 100% untrue, and it turns out we have them all wrong:


    1. "That if we take a long time in the bathroom, we're jacking off. Sometimes we're just enjoying a long shower or browsing memes."


    2. "That men only talk to women because they want 'something' from them."


    "Yeah, I do want something β€” I want someone to talk to. That's pretty much it."


    "One time I was in a bar, and I tapped a girl on the shoulder and said, 'Excuse me.' She immediately rolled her eyes and snapped back, 'Uhh, I have a boyfriend.' 'Uhh, I just want to get past you to the bar.'"


    3. "That men don't have self-image issues. You only get to hear about body positivity when it's about women's bodies."



    4. "That we don't give a shit about our wedding day. I did."

    "I cannot believe the amount of people who said, 'All you have to remember is where to be and to say 'I do,' right?' I actually had ideas about how I wanted my wedding to look and go. But not a single person thought I gave a shit, even when I was trying to give my take on something. I was always met with, 'You don't need to worry about that β€” the ladies will figure it out.'"


    "I'm getting married in two months, and I can't tell you how many people have told me that the wedding is all about my fiancΓ©. It's my big day as well, and letting her choose everything feels sexist and as if I would be setting our relationship up for bias and failure."


    5. "I hate when people talk about the damn 'man flu' or 'man cold.' I'm sick and feel bad, and you saying this incredibly sexist shit isn't helping."


    6. "The stereotypes in all the commercials that we can't do laundry, cook, raise kids, or anything without our wives or girlfriends showing us how."


    "I'm single, and I have never stared at a mop like it was a plasma death ray, I have never had to rush out to buy dinner because I burned mine β€” except when I was drunk β€” and I am capable of taking care of a baby without calling a woman to give me directions."


    7. "That all men cheat. I know just as many women who cheat."


    "I was cheated on once, and I tried googling statistics to prove that more men cheat than women, but I found that it's about equal. Turns out, some people are just assholes, regardless of gender."


    8. "The idea that dick size is related to foot size. I have size 13 feet and my dick is pretty average, but my boyfriend has size 8 feet and a 7-inch dick!"


    9. "That we think about sex every seven seconds."



    10. "Most men have zero issue asking for directions. I don't like being lost β€” it's goddamn annoying."


    11. "I hate when a guy is courteous and helpful around the house, and a woman says, 'Your wife (or girlfriend) has trained you well!' No β€” we managed to become decent human beings without a woman's help, fuck you very much."


    12. "If I'm with my daughter, I'm not 'babysitting,' I'm being a father."



    "I hate when I'm out with my kids and people jokingly ask, 'Are you on daddy duty?' I've never heard someone ask a mom if she's on mommy duty."


    13. "Mansplaining. Whenever someone asks me something, they always assume I'm mansplaining, when I'm really just giving a thorough answer."


    14. "That when we pee we have total control over where we're aiming. Sometimes we can be pointing right to the bowl and pee on the mirror."



    "And that sitting down to pee makes you less of a man. No β€” it's cleaner and less hassle because I don't have to aim...or worry about accidentally pissing myself when my piss decides to ignore the laws of physics, curve around the head of my dick, and go sideways. I know this is probably TMI but dammit, there's good reasons to sit down to pee."


    15. "Men aren’t always okay. Most of us are in severe need of emotional support but are deprived of it because if we ask for help we are seen as weak or unattractive."


    16. "That we love it when women drop hints instead of being blunt. No, that shit's confusing."


    17. "That masturbation means we're sexually unsatisfied. Does having dessert mean that I hated dinner?"

    BBC One


    "Masturbation is legitimately just different then sex. Sometimes I just want to have an orgasm and get on with my day."


    18. "That we don't need compliments. I hate when I compliment a male friend and another acquaintance overhears and teases me for it. I believe that guys deserve to be complimented sincerely every once in a while, just like everybody else."


    19. "That only creepy men enjoy being around children."


    20. "That we must be swift as the coursing river, have the force of a great typhoon, possess the strength of a raging fire, and be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon."



    21. "We actually love attention just as much as women do. And cuddling, too."


    22. "That we are emotionless. Sometimes it's not the right situation to show how we are feeling. But just because I am not showing it doesn't mean I am not feeling it."


    23. "And that every erection means that we are horny."



    "Exactly β€” the penis does as the penis pleases."


    Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.