People Are Sharing The Awkward Misunderstandings They Had When They Were Kids, And Y'all, The Way I Cackled
"I remember yelling, 'Good riddance!' to my mom once as she left for work because it sounded like a nice way of saying, 'Goodbye.'"
Reddit user u/NarwalsAreSick recently asked people to share the awkward misunderstandings they had when they were kids, and I'm telling you, the way I cackled...
1. "I had just bought a sleeveless T-shirt at a rummage sale and felt like the coolest kid on the block because it made all the adults stop and stare. Well, I was a 7-year-old walking around wearing a shirt that said, 'The word of the day is "legs." Help spread the word.'"
2. "Once my dad dropped the sugar canister on the floor and said, 'Shit!' I asked what that meant, and he said it was another word for 'sugar.' Well, a few days later, I was about to eat breakfast and asked if I could put some shit on my cereal."
3. "I once asked my dad what a prostitute was, and he expertly answered, 'It's a woman who provides special services to men.' That would have been fine, except I thought he meant a cleaner or maid. Suffice to say, it came to a head when I suggested that one of my school friends become a prostitute."
4. "I remember saying 'Good riddance!' to my mom once as she left for work because it sounded like a nice way of saying, 'Goodbye.'"
5. "When I was about 7, I was looking through my mom's bedroom drawers when I found some tampons. Well, I assumed that they were air fresheners, like the ones you hang up in your car — so I took about eight of them and hung them up around my room..."
"I can still picture my mom's face when she walked into my room and saw me grinning, surrounded by tampons hanging everywhere."
6. "My family used to play 'Made-up word Scrabble,' where you put a word you created down and gave it a definition, and if people agreed it was good, you got the points for it. Well, at 10 years old, I didn't understand why my dad and sisters were giggling at the word I created for 'very late' — fellate."
"I'm 23 years old, and they still bring it up regularly."
7. "I confused the words 'terrorist' and 'tourist.' Led to some awkward misunderstandings right after 9/11 when I asked about the 'war on tourism' and 'terrorist resorts.'"
8. "I remember an assembly we once had about the impact of bullying — they told us about a girl who used a blowtorch to burn off her freckles because other kids were bullying her about them. Well, I recounted this assembly to my parents, adamant that she'd given herself a blowjob!"
9. "My next-door neighbor's dad let us watch Die Hard with him, but when it got to the part where the character says, 'Yippie Ki-yay...' his dad interrupted, and said, 'Mighty fine fella!' instead. I was in college before someone corrected me."
10. "Someone was called a 'wanker' on Big Brother when I was about 6, and I asked my mom what it meant. She calmly explained that it was 'someone who played with themselves.' Well, until a lot later than I care to admit, I thought playing with your toys on your own made you a wanker."
11. "In the early '70s, they were always talking about guerrilla fighters on the news, and I was looking forward to seeing all the gorillas coming out of the jungle with guns."
12. "My sister and I were raised Catholic, and went to Confession, Mass, and Communion every weekend. Well, one week, my sister — who was 9 at the time — couldn't think of any sins to confess, so she decided to just choose one of the Ten Commandments. She told the priest that during the last week, she'd committed adultery three times."
13. "I was old before I figured out the difference between 'shoplifters' and 'shopfitters.' I used to go past shops with signs in the window that said, 'Shopfitting by Smith and Son' and think, 'My God, these criminals are getting bold.'"
14. "When I was 12, it was cool to add 'age' to the end of the words — like, 'Let's put some tune-age on!' Well, my mom was dropping me and my older sister off at my grandparents' house before work, and she said she enjoyed the drive with us every day because it was a nice bit of bonding time for us. Of course, my dumbass said, 'Yeah, it's nice to have some bondage.' My sister and mom went silent."
15. "My Nan used to respond to 'See you later' with 'Not if I see you first!' My kid brain thought it meant something like, 'No, I am observant, therefore, I will spot you before you spot me.' Well, I had no idea the real meaning was that if someone sees you coming, they'd run the other way. So I used it at school. On a teacher."
16. "As a kid, I once pointed to my cuticle and asked my mom if my foreskin looked OK."
17. "Not knowing the correct pronunciation of 'Grand Prix' got me into trouble with my mom's friends."
18. "When I was a small child, we went to visit one of my mom's friends, who was a lesbian. The word came up, so I asked what it meant, and my mom's friend said that the word meant a person born when Queen Elizabeth was queen, like an Elizabethan..."
What about you? Do you have an awkward, cringeworthy, totally hilarious misunderstanding from childhood to share? If so, tell us in the comments section and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.