We rounded up some of the funniest recent mom tweets we could find, and they prove motherhood is equal parts amazing, exhausting, and hilarious:
1.
A friend wanted to know what it’s like to be a mom, so I busted down her bathroom door while she was taking a shower so I could tell her that I’m thinking about changing the name of one of my stuffed animals.
2.
My kids are the reason I breathe; they’re also the reason I swear, cry, yell, and eat waaay more carbs than I probably should.
3.
I feel like I’d be a much better parent if I didn’t have to do it every day.
4.
I found these stashed under my daughter’s pillow. My God, what is she planning?
5.
I don't like to point fingers, but sometimes I really want to point my middle finger at the 1yo.
6.
My 5-year-old just told me that turtles are slow because they carry their houses on their backs, and I feel like this is a solid analogy for parenthood.
7.
Hearing a toddler say “uh oh” from a different room: cheaper than joining a gym and just as effective a workout
8.
I woke up with this horrible, debilitating pain in my neck this morning and I have no idea what’s causing it. *remembers having kids* Oh.
9.
If you don’t have a favorite stall in the local Target bathroom are you even a mom?
10.
5: Let’s play house, mommy. You be the baby. I’ll be the mommy. Me: OK 5: It’s night-night time. Go to sleep, baby! Me: *Kicks, screams, fusses* 5: This isn’t how the game goes, mommy. I’m the mommy, so you have to listen. Me: Oh, honey, this is *exactly* how the game goes.
11.
As a parent, you do everything humanly possible to shield your children from Caillou. But they will find him. They will always find him.
12.
What a parent’s bucket list looks like: 3. Drink hot coffee 2. Shower without kids banging on the door 1. Pee alone
13.
My toddler just sang, “Clean up, clean up, everybody do my share” and truer words have never been spoken.
14.
Me watching the Oscars: Haven’t seen it. Haven’t seen it. Haven’t seen it. Me watching the Kids’ Choice Awards: TEEN TITANS GO WAS ROBBED
15.
I just grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, went to the sink and turned on the faucet. And then started to walk away without filling the glass. I’m responsible for raising children.
16.
Me: Hey kid what do you want for dinner? 8: Do you have cheese? Me: yes 8: Do you have ham? Me: yes 8: Do you have bread and mayo? Me: YES 8: I want spaghetti
17.
Last night at dinner, my son told me I was pretty completely unprompted. This morning at breakfast my daughter called me a poop stain... completely unprompted. You win some you lose some I guess.
18.
My deepest fear: 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. My kids open the lid of our trashcan and discover what I’ve been doing with all of their art projects.
19.
There just aren’t enough songs about moms folding laundry and slowly losing their minds.
20.
Survivor: SAHM. People without children spend 40 days raising kids. Whoever makes it through alive...wins nothing. You’re welcome @JeffProbst
21.
Welcome to parenthood. You have a favorite closet to hide & eat your snacks in now.
