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    17 WTF Things Real-Life Parents Have Said To Their Kids

    "Don't put your binky in the dog's butt."

    We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the weirdest thing they've said as a parent and the responses were hilarious, weird, and so, so real:

    1. "We don't use our penis to play with the iPad."

    2. "Get that onion out of your pants!"

    3. "Poop goes in the toilet, not on windows!"

    4. "No twerking in the shower!"

    5. "Please use your indoor scream."

    6. "Get the lizard out of your mouth."

    7. "Don't put your binky in the dog's butt."

    8. "Boogers aren't good presents."

    9. "Stop rubbing mashed potatoes on your brother's nipples!"

    10. "Please get your feet out of the popcorn."

    11. "Don't drink your bath water!"

    12. "Stop petting the dog with your quesadilla!"

    13. "Peeing on your brother in the tub is not helping him take a shower."

    14. "Cheese is not a bookmark."

    15. "We don't chase friends with our butts."

    16. "You aren't going anywhere until you figure out where that smell in your room is coming from."

    17. "Hooray, it's the weekend! Oh wait, I'm a mom."

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    Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.