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You Know You're A College Tour Guide When...

We train. We study. And then the ultimate test: the parents.

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1. You're a pro at walking backwards.

2. You "join" "fraternities," you don't "rush" "frats"

But let's face it, they're still frats.

3. You know where all the poles on campus are.

Because, let's be honest, you've walked into them a few times.

4. "The school abides by the legal drinking age in this state, which is 21."


5. More people tell you Happy Birthday when it's not your birthday, than when it actually is.

Whenever you're with a tour, people just feel compelled to make your whole group say happy birthday to you. And it's really just easier to play along.

6. You have canned jokes that hardly anyone ever laughs at.

"There's a tour guide evaluation form in your packet. If you liked the tour, my name is Susan, if not, my name is Janet."

7. You know how to eliminate "like" and "um" from your sentences

But they come back when you're just hanging with your friends

8. You know everything about the school and like to tell people about it.

Oh, you didn't want to hear the history behind the three names changes and two location changes and their corresponding dates about our university?

9. You're really good at making up answers to questions you don't know the answer to.

10. You know how to nod a smile politely when people tell you their life story.

"Oh, you traveled to Africa at age twelve to help build an orphanage AND you captained your lacrosse team while starring in the school play? This is so important to me and I have such an influence in admissions!"

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